Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Chill Brandon

Why up is down and left is right

"Amazingly, today managed to become even more of a drama-fest.

The Betty and Phil situation is the same. They're still mad at each other. I'm still staying as far away from that situation as I can.

But when I decided to go outside so I didn't have to hear the yelling, I opened the door and saw the personification of drama herself, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. I closed the door as fast as humanly possible, but it was too late.

There was a knock on the door. I could hear her shoe tapping impatiently on the other side.

Why did I open the door again?

Either because:

A. I was too rattled by the noise upstairs to think rationally, and amidst all the chaos, there was this residual fear of Betty finding out I had slammed the door on a visitor and being disappointed. And even though I'm probably supposed to be mad at Betty, we still can't have that.

Or B. I was tired of being a coward and had a sudden revelation--that sometimes, you need to face your fears head-on instead of hiding in a closet and hoping they'll go away.

That second one sounds better. Lets say it was the second one.

Mackenzie looked triumphant, as if she'd been casing the place for hours, just waiting for her pathetic prey to emerge. 

'Finally, you came out! I've been waiting for hours!'

I felt a shiver travel up my spine as I wondered once again why Mackenzie has to be so creepy.

Betty and Phil were still going at it, so I went outside and closed the door before Mackenzie could hear the commotion.

She stomped in annoyance, and as she got closer, I thought about how easily the point of her shoe could stab my foot. I was only wearing socks!

'Why did you slam the door when you saw me?' she asked.

'I was, um, checking the hinges,' I lied convincingly.

Whatever, Brandon. We need to talk now.'

'Why do we need to talk? What do you want?'

'I just--haven't seen you in a while,' she said, faking cheerfulness. 'You shouldn't avoid your girlfriend like that.'

Instead of correcting her like I usually do, I just sighed miserably. 'Please leave me alone.'

'What's your problem?'

'I went to your party.'

'Awesome, wasn't it, babe?'

'You lied about inviting Nikki, threw my phone into your pool, and attacked me.'

'It was just a kiss.'

'I know what a kiss is. That was assault.'

'Are you mad?' she asked, sounding surprised.

I nodded slowly, wondering if she was actually surprised.