Dork Diaries: Tales from a Not-So-Chill Brandon

Why the party was a nightmare

"I haven't written in a while.

At first, it was because there wasn't anything that demanded to be written about. Life was normal. Normal things happened.

We got three new dogs at the shelter. Phil went to the dentist, even though he doesn't have that many real teeth left. I had a nightmare about--I actually don't remember. But it must've been pretty bad because I screamed myself awake and woke up Betty and Phil.

Yeah, normal things happened.

I thought I was going to write about Mackenzie's party, but I didn't because it was extremely unpleasant. Even thinking about it makes me feel nauseous.

_______________________________________

Fine. I'm writing about it now. I'm gonna write about why Betty had to pick me up less than an hour after I got there and why she found me hiding in a bathroom, bawling my eyes out.

Hey, notebooks don't judge! You're no exception, right?

Mackenzie's party: the nightmare begins

Yes, I'm breaking it up into parts. It's easier to handle in parts.

So. It was the night of the party to kick off summer vacation, according to Mackenzie's invitation. Betty dropped me off in front of the house, which was large and loomed menacingly over our heads. Then she rang the doorbell (since I was too scared) before returning to the car and driving away without me.

After a minute, a man in a black suit let me in.

'Mr. Hollister?' I assumed.

'No,' he corrected me. 'Nelson, the butler. Mr. Hollister is away. If you're here for the party, it's this way.'

I followed him through the house of horrors to a sliding glass door. Then he left to do other butler stuff. Through the door, I could see the party. Some people were horsing around in the pool. Others were stuffing themselves at the snack table or dancing to up-beat music. I saw a bunch of CCPs clustered around Mackenzie. I also saw a familiar looking ponytail, the only reason I slid open the door and came out.

Mackenzie spotted me. 'Brandon! Everyone, my boyfriend's here!'

'I'm not your boyfriend,' I reminded her.

Then I went over to the familiar ponytail and tapped Nikki on the shoulder.

'Hey, Nikki--'

'Huh?' She turned around. And it wasn't Nikki! It was one of Mackenzie's friends.

'Hey, you're cute,' she giggled.

'Sorry. I thought you were someone else!' I explained, as I slowly backed away.

Mackenzie's party: the nightmare continues

'Where's Nikki?'

Mackenzie shrugged. 'I guess she couldn't make it. Or maybe she's late, like you. Wanna dance?'

'No th--'

'Pretty please? With an imported cherry on top?' She cooed.

I am so ridiculously thankful that Betty was not there to see me shake my head and walk off. I could almost hear what she'd say...

'Young man, that was hardly polite!'

But I really wanted to find Nikki. I looked for her, wandering the backyard aimlessly for a good half hour before I realized that Mackenzie probably never invited her in the first place.

I'm really gullible sometimes.

Wallowing in these feelings of gullibleness and disappointment, I went over to the snack table to mope.

I sampled everything at that table, sighing mournfully the whole time. I couldn't leave. Betty was going to pick me up at nine, and if I called her, saying, 'Hey, change of plans,' she'd want to know why, and I'd have to tell her 'cause I can't lie to Betty, and then she MIGHT'VE picked me up early but she'd DEFINITELY be disappointed. And she'd give me that look. I can't stand that look. It makes me feel like a guilty little kid.

So I knew I had to stay at the party for two hours with no Nikki, and I was miserable about it.

After a few minutes of miserably attacking the snack table, I sent her a text, hoping phone interaction would help me to cheer up. Just a simple hey.

'Hey,' she texted back. 'What's up?

'Super bored. U?'

'Same. :p Brianna's sleeping, and I don't know what to do with myself. There's no one to annoy me to pieces!'

I laughed, already in a better mood. Then I glanced up and saw Mackenzie staring at me. It was very unsettling...

So I ignored invisible ghost Betty, who was giving me a good scolding on 'how impolite it is to hide behind your phone during a party!' and moved to a dark corner of the yard where there was less brightness and noise and where I could no longer see Mackenzie.

And, even better, where she could no longer see me.

'LOL Now I know what's been missing from my life.'

There was a long pause before Nikki replied. In this pause, Mackenzie joined me behind the ginormus hedge I was using to hide.

'Brandon, who're you texting?' she asked, grinning wickedly. Then she snatched the phone out of my hand before I could process what was happening.

'Nikki? That loser?' Mackenzie sneered, which made me really angry.

My phone chimed with a notification. Definitely Nikki's reply.

'Could you give that back?' I asked real nicely, holding out my hand. Hiding feelings of rage is harder than it looks, but I've gotten pretty good at it.

Instead of giving my phone back, Mackenzie read the text then threw my phone INTO THE POOL!

(She has a surprisingly good arm. If she wasn't, y' know, Mackenzie, I could see her excelling at baseball.)

'Oops!' She giggled, as if I would be dumb enough to believe it was a total accident.

For a few seconds, I was too shocked to say or do anything. Finally, I shrieked, 'My phone!' and ran over to the pool. By this time, some kind soul had tossed it out, so it was lying on the side.

Mackenzie's party: I'm traumatized for life

It was dead. My poor phone, which hadn't harmed anyone. Water dripped from the case, and the screen was black. I would never read Nikki's reply. I was devastated. But also really, REALLY ticked off. That was the second phone I'd lost because of Mackenzie!

Okay so I'm pretty good at hiding rage, but there is a limit.

I stomped back to the phone killer, who was still behind the hedge. She was leaning against her house, smirking.

'Why did you do that?!'

'Oh, that with your phone?'

'Yes,' I said, stepping closer. Obviously!

'Okay, well...' She quickly made up a lie. 'Nikki sent you a nasty text! Omigosh, that girl has issues. I was only trying to protect you, and I didn't know what else to do.'

'Is that the best lie you could come up with? You're the one with issues!'

Mackenzie gasped and looked hurt. 'Brandon, I--I didn't know you could be so cruel.'

A tear slipped down her cheek, and I started to feel bad.

'Sorry...'

'A hug will make me feel better,' she sniffled.

I did not want to hug Mackenzie! But, just when I had made up my mind to run, she grabbed me by the shirt, shoved me against the house and kissed me.

I felt completely helpless. Since no one will ever read this, it's safe to admit that Mackenzie is definitely stronger than me. No matter how much I tried to push her off, I couldn't and she just dug her clawlike nails into my arms and--

Great. Now I'm crying again, like the traumatized sap I am. I thought I was ready to write about this.

I need a cookie."