Just want to be able to be a person where people enjoy being around me and not just tolerate me or want nothing to do with me. I want to stop making the same mistakes over and over in a perpetual loop of insanity. I want people who aren't just being nice or feel bad I want someone I can go to. I want a best friend. I just want all the pain that's been happening lately to stop. I want a fridge full of food. I want to sleep. I want to choose to be not forced to be alone. Everyone has someone they can go to who will just be there for them and listen to them and not judge them. Everyone has someone in there life to lean on I have no one because of who I am. No one ever invites me to anything and no one talks to me anymore. I wish I had someone I could call a true friend. I wish I could be close to someone. Someone who would come to me when they're in pain someone who would lean on me. I want things to get better but lately it just seems like things just keep getting worse. I miss my friends but they're all to busy or fed up with me. I feel so alone. I wanna build better relationships and I wanna be likable not just tolerable or not even that to some people.
10/31/19
