After the End

Chapter 6

After Enjolras went upstairs Marius took a quick look at Éponine before following him.

Éponine watched her love bound up the stairs and she suddenly felt self conscious. With Marius in the room she felt a sense of protection but now that he was gone she was vulnerable, surrounded by 2 people, Cosette and Marius's grandfather, both of whom probably don't have a good impression of her.

She did feel bad for hitting him, but she just couldn't get the image of Gavroche dying on the barricade. She hadn't been there when he was shot, thank goodness, but she still felt empty. She didn't really have anyone else she was close to, except Marius but by the looks of it she just lost him as well. So there she stood, alone in the center of the room listening to the hushed whispers of Cosette and Marius's grandfather.

Finally Marius came back down the stairs again, Éponine felt her heart skip a beat, but his face was grave. Cosette and his grandfather immediately approached him and they talked in hushed voices. Éponine was able to pick out a few statements, "he had a flashback again", "but the doctor said-" "does that mean he's getting worse?" Enjolras was getting worse and it was her fault. If she hadn't screamed at him, if she hadn't followed Marius back, if she hadn't survived maybe this wouldn't have happened.

Suddenly she became aware that Marius was approaching her. She quickly tried to run her fingers through her matted and fix her dress but she saw something unfamiliar in his eyes, different from his usual happiness. "Listen Marius, I'm really sorry about Enjolras I-" she began before Marius interjected.

"Do you know what you've done?" He asked not meeting her eyes.

"I know I messed up I just, I-I felt like I couldn't stop it. I just saw my brother, and his blood on Enjolras's hands" she said quietly.

"You don't think Enjolras knows that! You don't think he's had to remind himself of it everyday! Éponine, he is weighed down by guilt and he is not the man he used to be! When I went up there those moments ago he had a look in his eyes that I had not seen for months, but you brought it back. His eyes were wide with fear and he cried, Enjolras /cried/ into my shoulder. He was doing so much better but then you had to remind him!" He screamed at her, his face turning as red as a tomato.

Éponine jumped back, "Marius I'm sorry, I didn't mean-".

"Get out" he said turning his back to her.

"Marius?" She asked surprised.

"I said get out" he said as he walked away.

Éponine felt a mix of rage and sorrow wash over her like a tsunami. She turned and ran out of his house, past the gardens and out the gate. She ran tears streaming down her face, and sobs restricting her breathing.

When she couldn't go any farther she collapsed into an alley, slamming her back against the wall. She tucked her knees into her body and burrowed her head. Her mind replayed the events that had just occurred. She could see the fear and sorrow behind Enjolras's eyes. It was her fault. He had taken a giant step forward in his recovery but Éponine knocked him basically back to the start. Enjolras was a strong man but the barricade changed him, it changed all of them and Éponine found that out first hand.