I Keep You Close

Bad Day

Today was one of Andrew's Bad Days. He could tell as soon as he blinked the sleep out of his eyes, immediately feeling that something was wrong. He looked around the room, but nothing was out of place. His boyfriend was asleep beside him, peaceful without Andrew disturbing him, so the nineteen year-old rolled out of bed in search of water from the bathroom. Maybe he just needed to wash his face- wake himself up.

When his bare feet hit the floor, Andrew felt a little more together- a little more here. A walk was all he needed after all. Nothing was wrong. He was fine. But when he reached the bathroom, though, everything fell apart again. The shower loomed in front of him and Andrew was no longer in his body- memories of hash cold sprays of water and a locked door when he hadn't done his chores, or done them properly. When he ate too much and wasn't grateful enough and his mother in her pretty dresses and red lipstick just tutted and looked away.

There were too many scenes, flashing behind his eyes too fucking fast for him to hold onto just one. The only things he could hold onto was the fear and the pain and the fucking shower. He wasn't in his body, he was in some memory realm of terror too far away from his sleeping boyfriend and their shared apartment and their cold floor.

"Drew, baby, it's nineteen eighty seven. You're safe." That voice was not part of the rush of memories, it wasn't something he could remember right now. He tried to swim to it anyways, through the sea of terror, because anything was better than this fucking freezing spray of water and the yelling and the locked shower doors and his tutting mother in a pretty dress. Anything.

"It's Aaron, Andrew. I'm right here, Drew baby, right here for you. Come back baby, you're safe, it's nineteen eighty seven and we're in our apartment."

Someone squeezed his hand, the same person that he was swimming to, and all Andrew could do was squeeze back. He was close to the surface now, he could tell that he could almost breathe through the memories again. The person squeezed his hand in return and Andrew was back to the present as much as he could be, shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.

The person squeezing his hand, Aaron his boyfriend, just kept talking sweet reassurances in Andrew's ear, taking turns squeezing his hand and doing everything right and Andrew just remembered how much he loved this boy but his voice just wouldn't work enough right now to tell him because he was still gasping for air. So he settled for squeezing the hand clasping his harder- with more meaning.

"It's okay baby, I know." Aaron left a kiss on Andrew's pale forehead, still covered in a sheen of anxious sweat, cold against his lips. "I know."

They sat there on the cold floor of the bathroom for god only knows how long until Andrew came back enough to make his body walk back to their bed where Aaron layed down with him, wrapping the elder up in his small body. He seemed to recognize that Andrew was still not entirely in his body, but above it- watching. He just hummed into Andrew's ear and played with fingers and hair until he was back in his body, hours later.

"Thank you." It was a croak, voice hoarse from crying and lack of use, but it said everything that needed to be said.

"Always, Drew, always ok? I'll always be here." And Andrew was safe, in his crappy apartment with his wonderful boyfriend in nineteen eighty seven.

A/N: Heyo look who's back! It's me. Schools been kicking my ass and writer's block on Sugar and Steel is one hell  of a bitch, so I decided to just post these drabbles that have been in my docs forever for you guys. I promise you'll get a Sugar and Steel update soon! Also I hope you love my gay goth 80's children as much as I do thank you. I may or may not have projected heavily on both of these characters so please be kind. Also, neither of these are edited so sorry for the crappy writing lol