Love and Letters ✔

Chapter 12

Love and Letters

Chapter 12

"Sue," I whined miserably as she sat opposite me on my bed. We were alone in my room, going through everything that had happened. "I can't take this anymore. I can't handle this betrayal to Is-haaq. Salaahtul Istikhaarah has shown me that Zubair isn't the one for me. Why am I still doing this? Why am I still going along with this charade?"

She passed me my comfortable scatter pillow and let me hug it. Her attention was focused on her waist long hair as she ran her fingers through her hair. The enchanting ebony colour was mesmerising with the lights in my room shining on it and creating a blue effect, but it didn't help me that my days were dwindling.

"Look," she began gently, "I don't know if your brother has spoken to Is-haaq or not, or tried to convince him, but I think maybe it is time you wrote him a letter."

I bit my lip, nervously thinking her words over. "I can't," I sighed. Why was love so complicated? Why did it have to be difficult? "I'm engaged to your brother."

She rolled her eyes dramatically, slapping my arm for emphasis. "Fake engaged." She gagged as if the idea of having me as a sister-in-law would be repulsive.

"To your parents and mine, it was a real engagement. We had exchanged gifts. We dressed up. There were sweetmeats. It's about as real as it can get."

Suraya stared at me intensely. "Are you in love with my brother?"

I shook my head. The idea was insane to me. Zubaira was a good friend and I would have happily helped him in the same way that he was helping me. I just couldn't think of being married to him forever. "Not at all. He is what I consider my best friend. Or one of them! I just don't think it is fair to go and do this to Zubair."

"Why not?"

My mind flashed back to all the times I've been around Is-haaq. Every single time that he has been in my house, the way he would treat me. Is-haaq made me feel like a delicate, little princess around him, but Zubair made me feel like a friend, a little sister. Marrying Zubair would feel slightly uncomfortable. Who would want to marry their brother?

Is-haaq, however, made me feel like being married to him would be an adventure. He was someone that I couldn't help but smile when I was around him. If I was irritable, or moody, I used to feel guilty for being sad around him because I knew our time in one another's company was very limited. I didn't like to be in a negative space around him, but he just smiled and made me feel comfortable.

"Because," I trailed off awkwardly. "He is like a brother to me, but the thing is that Zubair is being honest and doing this to him feels treacherous. And we have spoken about if everything doesn't go according to plan. If Is-haaq doesn't make a move or anything, then Zubair and I will go through with this wedding."

Suraya's jaw dropped and she stared at me disbelieving of the words. I knew that she would think that we were being unreasonable. "But you don't love him! Hell, you don't even like my brother like that. Don't you think that is unfair to him?" she screeched at me.

I covered my ears in a dramatic fashion. "Could you get any louder?" I rolled my eyes at her and then looked down at the patterns on my duvet cover. "It is unfair to him, but wouldn't it be worse for him if we break the engagement?"

She hit me with the other pillows on my bed. "Are you insane? What the hell?" Suraya stood on her knees and hit my arms, face and body with the pillow in her hand. "No! It would be worse if you don't love him and force him to stay in the marriage!"