The Stories of Our Heroes

I Don't Deserve Him

Part of the high school series... slightly OOC, maybe more of just a headcanon. The idea is based on basically any scene in The Blood of Olympus between Annabeth and Piper. :)

Annabeth's POV

I stood outside of Percy's bedroom door, back against the wall, trying to work up the courage to just walk in and talk to him. It was completely ridiculous. I'm completely ridiculous. I shouldn't be this nervous to tell my boyfriend something. I mean, it's just Percy, for Zeus' sake. My best friend. An open-minded guy. Very loving, very understanding. So why couldn't I just get over myself and walk through the doorway?

Because you might scare him away, a nagging voice in the back of my head whispered.

Shut up, I thought, Percy isn't like that.

But he might be when it comes to his girlfriend, the voice responded.

I once again wrestled between "he deserves to know" and "what he doesn't know won't kill him". On one hand, I'd want him to tell me about something like this. I wouldn't want him to feel like he couldn't share everything with me. On the other hand, I love him and I plan on it staying that way. This doesn't even matter because nothing will come of it.

I sighed, knowing I should just tell him. He'd be upset if he knew I was working myself up over this when I could talk to him. So taking one more deep breath, I shuffled into his room.

His desk chair swiveled around as he heard me enter. His face lit up in a crooked grin. I couldn't help but smile back, but maybe a little timidly. I was about to open my mouth but he beat me to it.

"Wise Girl! Perfect timing, I need help with this algebra problem." He held up a notebook, looking a little sheepish. My confidence deflated a bit, and I lost whatever rush of courage I had to get in here.

"Uh - yeah, sure, I can look at it," I stuttered, rushing to grab the notebook. I sat on his bed, not able to face him. I tried focusing on the math, not the tightness of my throat or the sting in my eyes. Fortunately, he didn't notice as he started complaining about how many problems his teacher had assigned and how they didn't even go over this in class. I just nodded along.

After explaining how to multiply by the conjugate and helping him through a few more problems, Percy seemed satisfied with his math homework.

"Now," he said, scooting his chair back away from his bed where I was still sitting, "what's wrong?"

Di immortales. I had already given up on this for the night.

"What do you mean?" I tried, but I knew he'd never fall for it. Even though I was staring at my lap, I could feel his gaze on me. I chanced a glance up and found him posed forward, elbows on his knees, eyebrows furrowed worriedly.

"You know what I mean, Annabeth." His voice was just so soft, so kind. I looked away again. I couldn't lose him. "You've been acting weird the past few days," he continued. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nodded, and in one last desperate, weak attempt to escape this conversation, I mumbled, "I've just been really stressed lately. Haven't been sleeping much." It wasn't really a lie.

Percy didn't say anything, just held his arms out like he wanted a hug. I quickly obliged, settling onto his lap and curling up in a ball so he could cradle me. I buried my nose in his neck. I could feel his heartbeat through his collarbone. I was very aware of his hand that was trailing from my shoulders to the base of my spine and his other arm that wrapped around my legs. I didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize this - us. 

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked again. I couldn't help but laugh a little, lightly punching his chest. One time I told him that if he ever called me babe, I'd run him through with his own sword. It's been his favorite pet name ever since.

"Okay, but seriously, Annabeth," Percy muttered when I still didn't answer. "Nothing you say to me will change what I think about you." Gods, how does this boy always know just the right things to say?

I looked up into his eyes, and I saw he was growing worried. I couldn't keep it from him now; I'd gotten myself in pretty deep. He hugged me tighter and I took a deep breath. "You know I love you, right? Like more than anything?" I started nervously.

"Of course-"

"But, like, I love you a lot and you're everything to me-"

"Wise Girl, trust me, I know." He kissed me gently. "I feel the same way. Just tell me what's wrong."

"Okay. Yeah. Okay. But also, like, I also... Ugh!" I shook my head, trying to start over. I was also now embarrassed because I'm usually good with words and way more confidant than this, but Percy didn't seem to mind. He stroked my hair soothingly. I took one more deep breath, looked him dead in the eye, and finally blurted out, "I also could like girls."

Percy stared at me blankly. Well that doesn't hurt at all.

After what felt like an eternal damnation of silence, Percy finally spoke. "That's it?"

He might as well have punched me in the stomach. No emotion seemed worse than negative emotions.

"I mean... I guess so."

"That's all you needed to tell me?"

"Yeah it is, Percy!" I was starting to get a little angry with my boyfriend, which was probably irrational but I had worked myself all up for... this? "What else do you want me to say? That I'm bisexual? I think you're being a little insensitive about it, actually, and-"

"No, no, no," he tried reassuring me. I rolled my eyes and started to climb off his lap but he pulled me back down. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be insensitive. I really am sorry." He rubbed his hands up and down my sides and my anger started to deflate a little bit. He looked sincerely apologetic, but another look was also evident on his face. Relief? "Look, Wise Girl, I promise I heard you and I know it was really difficult for you to tell me but, honestly..." He ran his hand through his hair. He even had the nerve to laugh. "Honestly I thought you were going to tell me you're pregnant so this is just super anticlimactic."

Oh.

"That did not occur to me," I said.

Percy laughed again, and I felt a little bit of guilt for this whole conversation. "S'kay, Wise Girl." He pulled me back into his embrace and resumed rubbing my back.

"So you're cool? We're cool?" I muttered into his chest.

"Yeah, of course," he promised, kissing the top of my head. "Just like I said before, nothing about us has changed."

I don't think my heart can handle him. "And you're not even, like, surprised? Taken aback? In shock?"

"I mean, not really. I can't say it never crossed my mind."

I shot up to look at him. "Really?"

He shrugged. "I'm more observant than you think, babe. Now," he grunted, standing up with me in his arms, "this conversation has been exhausting, and I'm ready for a nap." He threw me onto his bed and laid down next to me. I scooted close to him and wrapped my arms around his middle, nuzzling his chest. 

"How the Hades," I asked after a few moments, "were you so nonchalant when you thought I was pregnant?"

I felt him smile into my hair. "Didn't want to freak you out more, I guess."

I don't deserve him, I thought happily to myself before falling asleep, safe in his arms.