The Ghostlies

Delilah

From an article in the Spiritualist Times, August 2019--

In Junesburg, Missouri, there lives the only reliable ghost.

This spirit was nicknamed 'Delilah' by the townsfolk, after the bar that she is reliably seen stumbling out of every Friday night just past closing- Delilah Drinks & Hard Liquor. The bar is named after the current owner's great-great grandmother, Delilah Thompson, who was known as an old hag.

Now, since the spirit is very obviously under the age of one hundred and three, this ghost cannot be Delilah Thompson. And since no young woman has died in or near the Delilah since Junesburg's founding, there are still many questions up in the air about who this specter was.

Delilah has been caught on camera multiple times, forcing many skeptics to turn in their badges. She has been witnessed by hundreds- no, thousands- of people that flock to the bar, just to see her.

"She was never around when I was young," griped Gerald Mayhew, a regular at the Delilah. "Only in the last couple of years, all the people running around. I never saw her for the forty fucking years I been coming to the Delilah. And all of a sudden she just pops up like some sort of weed." Jerry, who has lived in Junesburg since 1965, has had his story corroborated by several of his fellow patrons.

"Yup," Timothy Vann said in an interview earlier this month. "Never seen Delilah there up until, oh, maybe 2016? And then she was running around like the devil was after her. Did wonders for our tourism industry." Timothy, an up-and-coming member of the Junesburg City Council, went on to tell just how much the tourist industry has done for the community, citing the building of several spiritual museums, a ghost photography studio, and the new expansion added to Delilah Drinks & Hard Liquor itself earlier this year.

According to several recent accounts, one made by bar owner Hunter Thompson himself, Delilah appears as an early-thirties woman in a white dress and stilettos, with pale skin and dark hair. Her eyes are dark and sunken, and her lipstick is smeared. She stumbles out of the bar, twists her way around the town square, and then vanishes when she turns onto Madison Street.

Several theories have been made about the identity of Delilah. Hunter Thompson, previously mentioned as the owner of Delilah Drinks & Hard Liquor, stated that "We may never know who Delilah is, but I always like to think that she was stabbed in the Delilah, and then managed to make it back to her home before her death." When faced with the simple fact that there hasn't been a fatal stabbing in Junesburg in over a hundred years, Thompson shrugged and said, "Y'know, maybe it wasn't recorded or anything. Hushed up."

Lisa Boxthorne, who has lived in Junesburg for her entire twenty-three years of life, said that Thompson's statement was "a load of old hoshcosh," and insisted that "Delilah is a fake that somebody decided it would be funny to do one Halloween and then got in over their heads. Frankly, I feel bad for whoever thought it was a good idea." Lisa is a major in psychology at the local college, Young Methodists' Central Academy (YMCA), and expects to earn her degree next spring. When asked if there is any science behind her response, Lisa went on a tirade about how "not everything has to have science in it," and "you people can't just expect everything to have a simple and just cause! Some things just are!"

Whatever the case, Delilah certainly is a local phenomenon, and if you're looking for solid proof for your skeptic friends, make sure to book a trip to Junesburg, MO, this Halloween! Delilah is typically seen shortly after eleven, just after her namesake bar closes.

And remember, hotels are tough to find in the rural areas. Don't hold out hope for four stars! You might have to look for an AirBNB.

From the Desk of Travel Correspondent

                                                                                                                                                                     Leann Whittaker

From an article in the Spiritualist Times, September 2019—

We here at Spiritualist Times are sorry to bring you this correction. The spirit we reported on last month, Delilah of Junesburg, Missouri, has since been proven to be unreliable and also not dead.

Delilah Drinks & Hard Liquor is facing their possible demise after the controversial loss of their favorite patron, Delilah herself. Delilah was a supposed spirit, frequently sighted just after closing time on Fridays, wearing a white dress and stiletto heels. She would totter down the square until she turned off on Madison Street, to then which she would vanish entirely.

However, this has been proven false when an intrepid ghost seeker who asked to remain unnamed decided to follow the ghost down Madison Street. This ghost seeker witnessed Delilah collapse into a patch of tall bushes, and then drag herself down the sidewalk and into a darkened house, leaving a shoe behind. The ghost seeker proceeded to follow Delilah into the house, which does count as a breaking and entering charge, and witnessed the unraveling of the Junesburg's main tourist attraction.

Delilah Drinks & Hard Liquor's favorite ghost is none other than their regular patron, Dylan Wren, returning home from a heavy night of partying. When a spokesperson attempted to get a statement from Wren, he responded, "Honestly? I don't even remember Friday night. That was a long time ago. I- I might have been in drag. I don't even remember going home."

Several other patrons at the bar, claiming to be Dylan's friends, have stated that "Oh, yeah, he does that all the time," and "I didn't even know it was a thing." Seemingly, these obtuse college students come out to the Delilah every Friday to get blackout drunk while dressed in drag as a hazing ritual that just never ended. Dylan Wren tested as positive for dangerous blood-alcohol levels even the morning after Delilah's regular appearance, as did several of his friends who submitted for testing.

So, as a correction, you might want to take a rain check on that Junesburg vacation. While there are still several good spiritual museums and that ghost photography studio, there is no longer a good reason to drag your skeptic friends along.

From the Desk of Travel Correspondent

                                                                                                                                                                     Leann Whittaker