I Needed You To Love Me

Chapter Six

(WARNING: DIFFICULT/HARD CHAPTER! PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

My head rests against the side of the bus, my eyes heavy, I need sleep, I've been on a bus for 5 hours. The thumps against the window shaking my head, almost as if it were rattling my brain. A hand slides into mine and rests on my leg. My head turns to see Asher sitting next to me.

"I hope your New York friends like me." He says while gazing at me. I'm almost too tired to reply but I manage.

"Don't worry, there's not too many, they will."

"Go to sleep Pumpkin." He says As he takes his hand away from mine and strokes my hair. Agreeing with him, I rest my head to the back of the seat and close my eyes, waiting for sleep to consume me.

***

A subtle tap on my thigh wakes me up. "We're here." I hear Asher whisper.

"Really?" I question. Raising my head and rubbing my eyes.

"Yea, come on." He says and takes my hand, lifting me up. We both slowly walk together off the bus, going into the bottom compartment to grab our things. We wave off the driver and I stare at the all too familiar land.

"We need an uber." I say, as I hear the crazy traffic start. Cars are bumper to bumper, and horns or being blown like they're a tablet when it freezes. People are sticking their head out their window just to scream at other people.

The sidewalks are crowded with people shoving each other, either on their phone or drinking coffee. It's really early on the morning but that never stops, good ol' New York.

"Yea. Or maybe a taxi." Asher responds. I spot one quickly without someone in it and wave them down. Somehow they manage their way over  and squeeze through the traffic.

Me and Asher grab our things and throw them in the trunk, and hop into the back seat. "Where to?"

"Times Square." I respond. My friends apartment isn't too far from there.

"Okay." He says as he drives away. I look over to Asher who stares out the window taking in the beauty of New York. Doing the same, I turn my head to look outside and I see building after building and people bumping into each other. Honking from cars, and yelling from people. Everything seems so forgien but so farmiliar.

***

The ride was slow. The time was slow. Everything was slow. Except my heartrate. I could hear it. I listened to the thumps. And I'm still listening. I still hear the thumps of the heart. The pulsing of the blood. I hear it.

I stand in front of her door. Asher behind me. I put my hand up to knock. Crunch my fingers into a fist, not even an inch away from the door.

Thump... Thump...

I listen.

Thump... Thump...

I can't.

Thump... Thump...

I turn away from the door. Slowly walking away. Asher goes to grab my arm but I dodge his attempt. I can't. I throw up my hood. "Grace." He says, attempting to comfort me.

"I can't Asher." I say staring forward into the street. Cars flying by so quick now. Not as busy as before. But, faster.

What if I stepped out right now?

I look at the curb before me.

What if I just kept walking?

"Grace." Asher repeats. "Knock."