Living With The Enemy

Day Twenty-Two... 23

Day Twenty Two
No I haven't written this consecutively I was in the hospital and the back in therapy I wrote little but not a whole day. I don't want to remember this journey honestly it's been a rough patch getting over these bad feelings. I'm in a better place mentally all attributed to dealing with my very depressed mood. IT WAS NOT EASY! Why am I yelling?

I'm dramatic but I wanted to emphasize the point getting help is never easy or even admitting my feelings.

It's been 3 months since I have written my day and what's new, so here we go...

Michelle had her baby boy a little earlier,but she left him over to me even let me chose the name. She didn't want her baby or to live like this she dropped out of college it was a whole mess. She out somewhere who knows where doing God knows what, she left me adoption papers and I didn't hesitate. Actually we battled how we were going to do it, we thought it through and I am a mom now.

Kelly is still full time in college living with us but she's getting her degree this semester cause homegirl is smart. She has a job waiting her back in H-Town near her old house so she's gonna be leaving us. She is still the only one single out here she's smart though not copying any of our mistakes.

Nicki is in her third trimester with little Milayna Jade she's like 7 months, she's getting to a point of popping. It's been funny watching her argue with Romeo over little things, they gonna go crazy with a baby.

Jay that's what we calling him now Shawn is too formal for his like but we have been dating for about 2 months. He supported me being the mother to Bryan Williams, yes he has his mothers last name I have hope for her coming back one day. Jay has helped me watch him on some nights when he didn't sleep like these past four days. Life has been okay so far it gets better as we go through it, but the journey is what makes it.

"BABEEEEE Bryan won't stop crying", Shawn yelled.

"Let me get dressed", I said.

I grabbed a simple outfit and went into our living room I made him some milk, it hurt me to hear him cry. Shawn passed him to me I made sure to sway him around before giving his milk.

"Shhh I got you Bryan don't stress", I said lowly to soothe him.

He looked st me and stopped crying that's when I gave him the bottle, he hesitated for a second then took it. I swayed him a little bit slower and he started to close his eyes, it was any second now he'd be sleep.

"If I aint got nothing I've got youuu, if I got something I don't give a damn
Cause I got you
I don't know much about algebra but I know one plus one equals two", I sang

"See I wasn't gifted that voice to knock him out instead I make him cry more", he said.

"You just gotta be patient speak slowly, not that your patient but imagine you birthed him", I said.

"That's impossible for me see I don't have a va-"

"Don't say it I'm hold a baby, think of taking a huge dump", I said.

"Nope this is just getting gross I'll try harder the point was made", I chuckled.

After finally calming him down I put him in the baby swing we had, I just prayed he didn't wake up again. I prepared myself breakfast my current schedule for this semester is online except for my math class and that's around 4pm. It allows me to get Shawn to watch Bryan, he still goes everyday to class. I forced Shawn to get classes that weren't online so he wouldn't stuck here as often. Shawn and I shared my breakfast before he had to leave, it was just Nicki, Bryan and I until like 2.