Hero (Destiel AU)

You Worry Me And Give Me Hope All At Once

(SERIOUSLY SORRY ABOUT THAT!)

Dean kept his hopes up. That's all he could do. Try and keep his hope. Even after that close call the other day. While Cas is clearly ready for goodbye, Dean isn't ready for goodnight just yet. He'd never be.

Bobby and Sam never left his side. Dean tried to tell them it was fine, that he didn't need them there, but he was mostly trying to convince himself.

He decided to try and change his tune. Instead of wallowing in self pity, he'd keep believing in miracles. Because he'd need one. He let the fact that Cas was still alive give him strength.

But it didn't stop him from cutting.

Every so often, he'd take a small knife into the bathroom and cut. It was his only way of coping. Just one or two every now and then. He knew it was shameful, but what else could he do?

The pain distracted from the pain.

Eventually, Bobby noticed the bandages on his wrist. "What happened to you?"

"Road rash." Was his go-to answer.

"How'd you get road rash?"

"It happened when I was dealing with Jimmy. Things got heated and we hit the ground, and I got a bit scraped up. No biggie."

Bobby clearly wasn't fooled. "Okay. Well, let me know when you stop giving yourself 'road rash' in the bathroom."

Dean looked at him. "What?"

"You can't pull one over on me, ya idjit."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He spoke nonchalantly. He hated lying to Bobby, but that was his only choice.

"Listen, boy. I know you're hurtin'. Believe me, I know. But the cuts won't help. It's not gonna be like this forever. Cas'll get better. Everything will go back to normal. I promise."

"You can't promise me that, Bobby. You can promise a lot of things but that ain't one of 'em."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I've been in your shoes before. Have I told you about Karen?"

"No, but you have told me to avoid an old man's stories." He chuckled sadly.

He glanced over at his angel and caught a glimpse of the most heavenly shade of blue. His baby was awake again.

"Oh my god, Cas!" He leapt from his chair and was by Cas's side.

"I'm sorry I scared you," He rasped. "I thought I was gonna-" He started coughing weakly.

"Shhh, don't worry. We're gonna take care of you, okay? I promise that you're gonna get better. Your dad is not gonna hurt you anymore. I tracked him down and got him arrested. He's behind bars, and he's not getting out anytime soon."

"Dean... I love you." He breathed.

"I love you too, my angel."

Cas smiled briefly. "I... I never thought I'd... get the chance to... tell you that again." He started trailing off.

"You should get some rest, okay baby?" He kissed his forehead. "Just promise you won't scare me like that again."

"Cross my heart... and hope to live."

"That's the spirit."

Cas smiled again before going back to sleep. Dean smiled down at him, a tear trickling down his cheek.

"What'd I tell ya?" Bobby grinned. "He'll be fine."

Dean turned around. "Yeah he is, Bobby."

"Just... promise me you'll keep that knife away, if you know what I'm sayin'?"

"You bet. I... I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're young and in love. Love makes people do crazy things."

(Okay, I seriously cannot express my sorriness right now. Really. I went T&S on you when I shouldn't have. AND made a sad DW reference. *slaps myself in the face* NO! BAD ME! I know that wasn't fair, man. Sorry, bros. I'm such a dick. HELL YEAH I'M A DICK, GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU!)