BLOODTHIRSTY

02 | Not so lucky

Winter's eyes flutter open. To her surprise she found her friends staring at her, watching every move. Chris reached out for her head and put his hand on her forehead. Brian looked at her and tried to find any injuries, and Andrea had dried up tears on her face. They all looked at her as if she was dying and their faces were too close for her to feel comfortable.

"I know you all like me but can you not be this close to my face please." She asked them amused with raised eyebrows. Andrea looked up to our friends. Confusion was written on all of their faces which made her wonder what really happened for them to act this way.

"What's wrong?" I questioned them while I attempted to find my phone.

"You passed out on us Winter." Brian told her but not in his usual self. The playfulness in his tone is completely gone. They were all being so serious which wasn't like them at all.

"Well what happened?" Winter asked them, still looking for her phone.

"You walked off by yourself." Surprised, she looked up from the ground to see the expression on Chris' face. He looked furious and balled his fist. "Then this guy was holding you and handed you to Brian as if it was completely normal to hold an unconscious girl." Chris sat next to her and closed his eyes to calm himself.

"I told you not to walk off on your own didn't I? Why can't you ever listen?" He asked her with raised eyebrows and she suddenly felt like a child again being scolded by her mother.

"I'm sorry but everything is fine, you see." She told him trying to lighten the mood.

"Just because everything looks fine doesn't mean that we are. A lot could have gone wrong. Shit, we don't even know if he did something to you." The guilt that she felt every single day was creeping up on her, tugging at her heart. Manifesting itself in her behavior and making her want to run away. There are memories she tries to bury. "I'm sorry." She told them and looked at her hands. "I'm so sorry." She whispered again, too ashamed to look them in the eyes.

A lot could have gone wrong.

Nightmares that kept her wide awake at night all came back to her. Reminding her of the time she played hide and seek, only to be forgotten. Perhaps there wasn't enough space for her in their hearts, or maybe there was too much. To the point she felt like a burden, a problem. Someone that constantly needed care. However she was not a child nor was she a baby that needs to be supervised every damn time. Yet she can't find the right way to express herself.

Chris sighed and left the room. Brian followed him and she was left alone with Andrea. Tears almost threatened to fall but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Andrea sat down beside her and wrapped her arms around Winter's torso. Placed a soft kiss on her forehead and told her that it was okay.

"You know they only act like this because they care. Since that accident they have grown more protective of you." Andrea tried to comfort me as she gently cupped her face.

'You're wrong. They don't give me any space.' Was what she wanted to say yet all she could do was nod her head. Words stuck inside her throat. Living like this isn't pleasant nor is it fulfilling. It felt like she was trapped and every time she wanted to speak, she lost her tongue. Winter fear she lost her sense of self. Some things were better left unsaid. At times it's better to keep it for yourself than to share it with others, or at least that's what she was told.

They went downstairs and found the guys watching tv. Winter sat down and made sure not to be too close to anyone to keep a good distance from her friends. Andrea and Brian left the living area to make some breakfast. It was just Chris and her. His eyes are glued on her, watching her the way a lion watches his prey. He wanted Winter to talk. Speak her mind and express her feelings. Talk about the shadows that seemed to only grow bigger in size, but it is better to bury it under a pile of clothes.