Live, Laugh, Love [COMPLETE/PUBLISHED]

Chapter 3

Another day, another appointment. She wanted me to explain more about my phobia and I did. I also opened up a little more and said that I write and that I put myself into words after our first appointment. She says that is a step in the right direction for me. Rose is worried that there may not be much that she can do to help me overcome my phobia.

When you look up how to get over a phobia you can see two different options used by therapists. One is called flooding and the other is systematic desensitization. In the technique flooding, the person who has this intense fear is completely immersed in it. Say you are scared of spiders, then your therapist will put you in a room full of spiders. What happens is your fear takes over and you become anxious, but over time your stamina will wear out and you become tired. So, you calm down. This repeats until you are no longer scared.

Systematic Desensitisation is the more common treatment for phobias. It is built on the basis of Classical Conditioning, which is learning by association. That is actually how phobias are learned to begin with. In this technique, you begin to associate new things with your fear. New responses to the fear. Then you slowly work up your fear hierarchy. This means you slowly get closer and closer to your fear until you are no longer scared of it.

You see my issue. How do I immerse myself in love? How do I slowly get closer to love? That is my dilemma.

I arrive home from the appointment and I pull out my laptop again. I have an email waiting from work from some guy named Jasper Atwater.

To: ophelialockhart@live.colemanco.com

From: jasperatwater@live.colemanco.com

Subject: Data Request

Good afternoon, Ms. Lockhart. Your data request was unable to be complete due to changes in the company policy. If you could please attend the meeting tomorrow at 10 AM, everything will be further explained. If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to ask.

Jasper Atwater

Head Data Analyst

Coleman & Co.

(971)-734-8621

You have got to be kidding me. That was the last thing that I wanted to do. I open a new message to my boss, who is not the owner nor is it this Jasper guy.

To: leviworth@live.colemanco.com

From: ophelialockhart@live.colemanco.com

Subject: Meeting Tomorrow

Good afternoon, Mr. Worth. I was made aware of the meeting at the office tomorrow about changes in the company policy. I am asking because the head data analyst emailed me about how the changes stopped my data request. How much are these changes going to affect my work? If you can let me know, that would be great. Enjoy your evening!

Ophelia Lockhart

Data Analyst

Coleman & Co.

(917)-592-9327

I close out my work email and I go back to the document from yesterday.

I have never been more scared of anything in my life, and that is saying something.

I read what I wrote yesterday and I have never read something more true. Throughout this entire day and yesterday, I haven't stopped thinking about him. That is where I can start.

If someone had asked me two days ago if I had a guy on my mind 24/7, I would have told them they were crazy. If you had asked me today, I would say you are right. Whoever you are, you have taken over my mind and I let you. In the short time that I saw you, you lit a fire inside me that disappeared the moment I left. I should hate you for making me feel this way, but I can't. The more time that passes on the more I want to know you, but I don't think that I will ever see you again. And I have to accept that.

I also have to look forward to seeing my family for the first time in years. I don't know when I will be ready to meet my sister for the first time, but I know that I need to. I owe it to myself to do that. I was left alone at 10 years old. All I wanted was a family and now I have the chance for one. I just hope that I don't run away like I always do.

Before I type another sentence, my computer beeps with notification. I click on it and it is a reply to my email to my boss. Great. What is going to happen now?

To: ophelialockhart@live.colemanco.com

From: leviworth@live.colemanco.com

Subject: Meeting Tomorrow

Good afternoon, Ophelia. I was informed of the changes earlier this week and I had forgotten to inform you of them. The owners of the company are breathing down our backs about data because we had a breach early last week. They quickly made changes which they are formally announcing tomorrow. You must be there. I know that it may be difficult for you, but if you need to leave just let me know. Also, the head analyst has wanted to meet you, but I have been pushing off telling you because of everything. I think that the best time to do that will be tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow.

Levi Worth

Chief Data Analyst

Coleman & Co.

(971)-349-2376

Ugh. Great. I switch back to my writing and type out my final thoughts for today.

The time is now for me to take a step back into reality. I can no longer live in this bubble that I'm in. Work. Work is where to start.