Live, Laugh, Love [COMPLETE/PUBLISHED]

Chapter 17

So, it's been a while and can I just say that things have gotten crazy. I know before that I have always talked about how scared I am. Scared of falling in love. Scared of becoming attached to someone. Sometimes being scared of everything, but I don't feel that way anymore.

It is all because I met him.

Jasper Atwater taught me that there is so much more to life than what I knew. He showed me how to laugh when I thought that I forgot how. He taught me that surviving isn't living, but most importantly, he taught me how to love.

I fell in love with him and I'm not scared that he is going to run away.

When I think about philophobia now, it seems like a distant memory. It sometimes feels like I never had it at all. Having a phobia is a very real and scary thing. 19 million Americans have been diagnosed with phobias, yet only 40% have been treated. I was one of the lucky people that was. But, it wasn't in the traditional sense.

What people don't realize is that having fears doesn't equate to having a phobia. It is natural to be scared of things, but what others feel is they have a phobia is 10 times more extreme.

Moving on, I think the main purpose of me wanting to write this is the fact that the truth behind my childhood is so much darker than I thought it was.

I thought that I was just saving my sister from neglectful parents, but it turns out that my father isn't the man that I thought he was.

I went there expecting him to tell me to go away and that he never wanted me, but it was quite the opposite. He was saving me, even if it was in an unorthodox way.

He saved me, now it is my job to save him and my sister.

It's funny when you think about it. If you had asked me to do this a few months ago, I would have thought that you were crazy. I would have never had the courage to ever meet my sister or my parents. I would have never had the courage to meet the love of my life. I would have never had the courage to start working in an office building. I would have never had the courage to rejoin the world of the living.

I would have never had any of these things with the help of Rose, but most importantly, Jasper.

Jasper saved me in the most unexpected way. He unintentionally found my family. Without him, I don't know who I would be today and that in my opinion is a scary thought.

I am Lia Lindsey Lockhart and I'm no longer afraid.

Just saying that aloud makes everything so real. I spent hours dwelling on the fact that I was afraid, but I can sleep at night knowing that I have someone who loves me unconditionally. I had a family waiting for me. And I finally have something to fight for.

My life has a purpose again.

I no longer have to sit at home and know that I am the girl who was afraid of love.

I no longer have to sit at home alone. That is a really big bonus.

I need to stop myself. I keep speaking of the things that I lost, but what about the things that I gained?

I gained love.

I gained a family.

I gained self-love.

I gained a whole list of things. I could go on and on for hours about how things have changed and I know that they are going to keep changing.

Starting with Dad and Daphne.