Letting Go (Harry Styles AU)

Chapter 47: Not Even Close

Harry

"You sure you're not coming?"

I shoved the lifejackets in the plastic tub and slammed the lid shut, running a hand through my hair in exasperation. "Positive."

Connor frowned, stepping out of my way as I marched to grab the first of the canoes and put it up on one of the racks. "But it's Nat."

I cringed and tried to ignore the sharp sting in my chest. Pull yourself together Styles.

I walked past him to grab another canoe, hauling it over my head and forcing it into another rack above the shelves. "I've got a lot to do Con. If Ben sees this place he's going to kill us."

"I think he'll understand given his niece has been in the hospital the last four days." Connor retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. He stepped towards the door, then paused and shook his head, spinning back around to face me. "Alright, what happened to you two?"

I froze, my fingers clenching the fiberglass edges. "Nothing."

He scoffed and stepped in front of me, grabbing the last canoe out of my hands and dropping it on the floor.

I glared at him. "What the hell man? You're going to dent it!"

"You've been a pain in the ass all week Styles and Nat won't talk about you at all on the phone. What did you do?"

What did I do? Was he serious? I freaking gave up my inheritance, flew back to this hell on Earth and said the one thing I swore I'd never tell a girl. And for what? So I could lay it all on the line and get gut-punched. So I could hear the one girl I've ever cared about tell me I was wrong.

And oh was I wrong.

"I came here, that's what." I groaned.

I thought I could take it. Back at the carnival, when she ran away from me and I knew she wasn't ready, I thought I could handle her saying no and I would be able to move on like I always did. But shit, it freaking sucked. I hadn't realized how much I had fallen for this girl until she took it all away. Until she couldn't say it back.

Connor placed a hand on my shoulder. "Look, I don't know what happened between you guys, but I know for a fact that you're the first face she'll want to see when she gets here."

My stomach dropped and the sting in my chest returned. Was I? She hadn't called or texted me at all while she was in the hospital, even though she clearly talked to Connor and James. And I couldn't help but think that maybe she did finally decide what she wanted...and that was her way of saying it.

Not me. Not the college dropout, homeless bad boy with nowhere to go.

Stupid freaking Georgia.

I pushed his hand off my shoulder and shook my head, heading over to the oars splayed on the ground. "I appreciate the effort Connor, but I'm not going."

I didn't know if I could see her again without hearing those words in my head. They were already circling around enough as it was.

I love you.

No you don't.

You suck at loving people you know that?

I don't...

I had stopped her before she could finish that sentence.

I was sure, so sure, that she felt the same way and was just scared. I was so sure that I meant the same to her and she just needed the time to process it. Now, I wasn't sure of anything. Except for the fact that it was my turn to play the avoidance game.