thoughts. | Incomplete

my tormentor.

4.

I-I am feeling so down.
you backstabbed me, my love.
you now despise me.

wasn't it enough that you have rejected me?

wasn't it enough for you to see me break from your hurtful words?

wasn't it enough?

PLEASE TELL ME.

because it's not you who is hurt,
it it's not you whos crying herself to sleep

IT'S NOT YOU THAT HAS NOTHING TO HOLD ON TO LIFE

IT'S NOT YOU THAT FEELS THIS UNBEARABLE PAIN..

My love, it's not you.

Just the thought of you, brings tears to my eyes, makes me feel this pain I can't explain, and I'm so tired of it.

I'm tired at the fact that everytime I think of you, everytime I see you, and everytime I hear you, I feel like shit.

I feel like I'm so fucking ugly, I'm so fucking fat, I feel so insecure at the fact that you fell for the angel rather than me who has been waiting for you for a year, my love.

Despite now seeing the true you I still can't bring myself to forget you.

can you just give me a fucking break?

I'm so damn tired, my love.

Hate me, Use me and break me again and again and I would still fucking love you.

a fool, am I right?

My Love.....

what have you done to me?

at first, I thought you were gonna be my savior.
My savior, from the constant pain and demons that continue to haunt me up to this day, but no you were the opposite. You brought pain and the pain that you bring in my life is the worst.

why can't I be like the others?

The one who doesn't worry about stupid yet so fucking painful shit like this?

let me breathe.

let me live.

let me be happy.

I'm fucking begging you.

Save me, My love.

I- I feel like I'm constantly drowning in this pain, in my tears while you're just watching, just standing there... staring at me like me nearing death is a boring commercial.

You know I'm hurting and you know it's because of you but you never cared.

At least show a bit of concern won't you, My love.

It's all I would ask for you.

Stop tormenting me, I'm literally at the edge of the cliff and I'm barely hanging on.

Weren't your constant rejections enough?

Wasn't it enough for you! that you just have to say painful shit out of the blue?

YOU DON'T KNOW MY PAIN YET YOU STILL CONTINUE TO ADD ON TO IT FOR YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT!!

give me a break. my heart can't handle this shit anymore.

I thought you were the savior and the light but I was so wrong, you are the complete opposite of it, my love.

yet I still can't bring myself to forget you.