It is Wednesday, November 6, 2019.
Life has improved within the last month. Ethan got used to taking insulin and checking his bloodsugar it is like second nature to him. He sometimes let's me help, but he likes to joke ar about how I'll mix up the numbers but that isn't even my disability! That is dyscalculia not dyslexia or dysgraphia. It makes me feel stupid sometimes with how he treats my brain disabilities but I brush it off as best as I can.
He likes to comment on my hand writing when he has to take his bloodsugar at two and I have to help him. He has a little blue notebook that we right in to keep track of everything. When I wrote in it I tried to match my moms and brothers hand writing so it would stick out. But when ethan looked over it the day after he said something like "yeah I can tell you wrote it, just look at how messy it is." That stung a bit I try my best.
And when I said "don't make fun of my disability, you know I'm disgraphic." My mom got pretty upset saying something like...
"Stop using your disability as an excuse you hardly try to work with your handwriting." I really do try, I try really hard. I can't help it it is like saying to a type one diabetic...
"Stop checking your bloodsugar it isn't that big a beal." Like what the fuck. I just want to live my life. It isn't liek as a 13 year old teen hand writing isn't that fucking big.
Lately I've been workign with my style and I found a liking to loose clothes like joggers and random t-shirts. And I have a particular liking to flower crowns I don't find them to be to girly or to boyish. I find them to fit well with me. Today we got to dress down for school. So I decided to try my look I had a maroon hoodie shirt (short sleeves), a pair of black joggers I got from my brother (Ethan), and a flower crowns my friend gave me. I got so many comments about it I was pretty shocked. My friend said it looked like I could be either gender I felt good because of that I like people not being able to tell.
A lot of the teachers liek hie I started to express myself they were saying "it really looks like you." Or "please never stop expressing yourself, it brights my day." That really made me happy knowing other people like how I dress. And a lot of my friends are starting to give me flowers crowns because they don't like wearing them or they do like them anymore. And I adore them. So far I have kne from a friend and a few from a fair that was a while back. My teacher said she will give me some because she used to make them for her daughter, she told me her daughter loved them so much that she would have one for every occasion. And my teacher said she grew out of them and said she can give me a few. And I got so excited and joyous I told her "I'd love to take them off of you!" I have been having really good days recently. No drama with my friends and stuff. My bestfriend just started to get homeschooled and she lives 45 minutes away from me. But we video call a lot. And this weekend we hare planning to have a sleepover with out other friend.
I've been loving my life right now. I have been so smiley and happy. I have been so grateful that the hellish rain over my head took a break for a bit to let me be happy. I hope this lasts a while. I don't want this sunshine to end. I'll give another update soon.
