Ma Chérie | taennie

[05] Talk Me Down - 2

[tw// suicide]
Please play the song while reading!

PART 2

How do I start this? Hmm so this morning I woke up on my sofa. I was confused why I was there and not on my bed as usual but everything start to coming back.

One month ago, Taehyung left me. He got an opportunity to work at Paris. We fought because I love my job here and I cannot leave with him. Taehyung left to Jin-oppa's house. That night is the first time we sleep with anger to each other.

The next day I went to work as usual, but when I arrived at the apartment, his suitcases already gone. I called his phone but it cannot connected. And from Jin-oppa I knew that he already left for Paris.

The first few days I was hurting with how he left me. After a week I become anxious. Are we going to leave each other like this? I tried to find any way to contact him. My emails are unanswered, he never updated his social medias, my chats are being ignored. Until one day he uploaded a photo of him. He happily smiled to the camera while I cried in the dark bedroom.

I vaguely remembered calling my office asking for a week leave when I was laying on the cold floor. I was a mess. I drowned myself with alcohol to soften the pain in my heart. I don't know how many days passed before I saw Taehyung stood beside me with his usual smile. That moment, I felt like I can finally breathe again.

The next day I woke up with him beside me as usual with his smile. We go through our usual routine. He went to bathroom, I got breakfast ready, he ate breakfast while I got ready, we went to separate way in front of our apartment building.

Deep down, I think I always knew that he's not really here with me. But I just want to come home to him, I want to be close to him, I just want to sleep with him next to me. So I ignore that feeling. But last night his shadow also left me.

Unnie, I'm sorry that I leave you like this. But I just can't feel this pain anymore. The moment I refuse to acknowledge he left me, and his shadow appeared is the moment that I put my heartache on hold. And now everything is coming back at once. It hurts so much, Unnie.

You know that I only have Taehyung for a longest time since my parents passed away when I was a child. His family is the only family that I have and when his parents died 5 years ago, we only have each other. With him leaving me I don't have anyone anymore.

I'm sorry Jisoo-unnie, that I can't be stronger. For me, he's the one. But I can feel that for him, I'm not the one. Unnie, I set this recording to be sent to your email tonight. I know you'll see it because every night before you sleep you'll check your email.

Please tell Taehyung that I wish him happiness and I'll always watch over him, so he must have a happy life even with someone else. Tell him that one day we'll meet again. Tell him that I never blame him for leaving me.

When you finished listening to this please don't be angry with me. I'm sure I'll be happy from now on. Now, it's time to say goodbye. Oh yeah, do you mind sending me white daisies every time on my birthday? I really love that flower. Taehyung always give me daisies on my birthday, and it become my favourite until now.

It's truly the end of this recording. I hope you live well, Unnie. Thank you. Please send my love to Lisa and Chaeyoung as well. I'm sorry I haven't meet them before I leave.

——

People with black outfit are entering and leaving the room after paying respect to the smiling picture of the woman that was surrounded by white flowers. On the side, three women and a man acted as the deceased family. One woman starts sobbing and the man pulls her into his arms. The front of his suit already wet since a while ago. The other two women was thanking the people who came, their eyes are swollen and red.

Whispers are heard at the sitting area. No one expect the woman who always cheerful and likes to interact with everyone will end her life so sudden like this. Her co-workers reminiscing about how she worked very hard, how she always make everyone feels appreciated especially the staffs that worked under her. They all feel a major loss as she was a really good role model for them. Her boss also there, he was at the office this morning, reading the finished report written by her that was sent to his secretary.

Her friends from her schools all know her as the smiling girl with chubby cheeks that was so cute. The girls who like to help others as much as she can whenever they face difficulties. Each of them have a significant memory of her.

Suddenly a running sound make all of them focus to the man in black pants, crumpled navy shirt, and a black suit in his fist. His hair is messy, there are black shadow under his eyes, and his face was pale. He stops at the door while breathing heavily. Some people know him as he's always with the deceased for a long time.

The people who just finished paying respect looked at him in confusion but leave to give him privacy. The deceased 'family' look at the man who start walking slowly with his eyes nailed to the smiling picture.

"No.." The man whispers in disbelief. His knees buckled and he falls. "No.. This wasn't supposed to happened. No..." he then looked at the deceased 'family' on the side. He approaches the man with his knees. "Hyung, this isn't real, right? Please tell me that this is a prank that all of you made to make me come back." His hands grips the man's suit tightly.

"Taehyung..." Jin's eyes start to watered again. He looked at his close friend with so much sadness.

"HYUNG! THIS IS NOT REAL RIGHT? SHE WILL APPEAR NOW RIGHT?" Taehyung shakes Jin, he then look at Jisoo who stands beside Jin. "Nuna, this is not real right? Lisa? Chaeyoung?" He moves to the three women.

"Taehyung, why? Why you left her alone? Why?" Jisoo grabs Taehyung shoulders. Her hands are shaking.

"Unnie.."

"If only you didn't leave her alone. If only you keep in contact with her after you left. If only-" Her grips got tighter, Taehyung cannot even feel the physical pain as the pain in his heart is a lot worst.

"Jisoo, that's enough. Remember what Jennie said to you?" Jin pulls Jisoo from Taehyung.

"How can I not blame him? He's the cause of it! Did you know she even believed you still lived with her for the past 2 weeks? Did you know she got your shadows appear everyday as if you still here?" Lisa and Chaeyoung cry with Jisoo.

"Did you know she purposely sent the recording to me at night while at morning she sent me 'Unnie, I'm fine.' that makes me thinking that she was okay? Did you know how I found her already cold inside the bath tub after she consumed sleeping pills and drowned herself?" Jisoo's voice buzzing inside Taehyung's head.

He looks at the Jennie's photo at the altar. It was the one that he took when they went to Jeju to celebrate the new year. He slowly getting closer to the altar and bows down. His shoulders are shaking.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He bows down until the end, hoping the woman that he loves can come back to his arms again.

THE END

— I know the story a bit gloomy. but somehow I really got the mood to write it while listening to the song. the song itself is so sad :(  I hope you guys like it!