Writings Of A Bibliophile

if i was a cat

November 7, 2019

I have anxiety.

I overthink a lot.

Sometimes, I talk to myself and tell the reflection in the mirror that if only she was born as a cat and not a person, life would have been easier for her.

If she was a cat, she wouldn't need to force herself to work on a shitty company just to get this beautiful but evil thing that everybody loves — money.

She'd only have to wait for her owners to feed her three times a day and probably even more than that, and they wouldn't just simply act as her owners, they would be her loving owners who'd treat her as their own child and spoil her with PureBites Chicken Breast Freeze-Dried Cat treats every five long hours or whenever she lets them pet her.

I and my own cat which I named "Alien" (because he literally looked like an out-of-this-world creature when I adopted him), would have become best of friends and I would've been able to communicate with him better than just randomly meowing at him, throwing inhumane words hoping he'd understand.

Who knows whatever my words meant to him in their language? I wouldn't know. No one in their sane mind would.

Enough about my wish on becoming a cat.

I have to work again tomorrow and my anxiety is increasing every second. I'm still not ready to get scolded by Grace after doing something really bad to disappoint our clients three days ago.

Why do beautiful girls always have to be freaking dumb?

Okay, before anyone gets triggered, I take back what I just said.

Yet I'm afraid my beauty will not bring me much luck tomorrow. I can't just bat my eyelashes to Grace and expect her to let me get away from my mistake.

This is beyond infuriating.

Have you ever done something really bad in your life? How did you handle the consequences?

Well, I think I don't have a choice but to accept the fact that life is about to throw a bunch of shit on my face in less than twelve hours from now.

I pray that my punishment wouldn't be as bad as what I'm thinking as of the moment...                 

Losing a job