Of Red Lights and Their Flowers

A Kakanaru Two-shot pt. 1

If you had asked Kakashi Hatake what he'd expected when asked to take on a genin team, (for the nth time now,) his answer would be: certainly not this. 

He'd always been dubious about the logic that went into every iteration of Team 7's formation but he had hoped against hope that those "wise" elders would've caught on to how bad of an idea it was to keep trying at something destined to end in disaster. (Clearly, wisdom did not come with age, but this was why he stayed clear of politics.)

The dark-haired one was even more toxic than he'd been at that age, the pink-haired one so embroiled in her obsession she couldn't even hope to be the mediator this team needed. And the blond, his sensei's son, was unnaturally cheerful. He knew that the Uzumaki temperament and vitality afforded some more leeway on the ADHD-spectrum, but he was even worse than Kushina or Obito had been combined!

He felt his eyebrow's need to twitch and forced the urge down to keep his appearance of cool nonchalance. He'd already resolved to fail this team, counsel's wishes be damned.  (Their precious Uchiha would be near-useless if he was dead, after all.)

"Ah! No fair, bastard!" The three of them tumbled out of the entrance to the roof from the stairway, already at each other's throats.

"Don't call Sasuke a bastard, idiot!"

"But Sakura! I only call it as I see it, 'tebayo!"

"HOW DARE YOU! SHANNARO!"

"OW!"

"Hn." (Between their bickering, Kakashi was sure that was a cover-up for a laugh.) He sighed. Time to break it up.

"Alright!" He said to get their attention. At least they'd made the time requirement he set for them, (even if just barely.) "Let's introduce ourselves now."

"Ah? But what should we say, sensei?" Was this really the academy's standard for top kunoichi? She'd be dead weight if these were war times.

"Yeah, yeah! Show us how it's done, sensei!" He wasn't sure, but Kakashi thought he saw a flash of mischief in the blond's eyes. Perhaps he was thinking of a prank for his presumed-sensei's tardiness? Best to nip those fond feelings of him in the bud before they have the chance to grow unnecessarily.

"Well, alright," he said, feeling distinctly that this might've been what an elementary class would've looked like on the first day of school, (though he wouldn't know.) "My name's Kakashi Hatake. I don't think you're quite ready to know of my likes and I don't have many dislikes... My hobbies? I might have some. And I don't know if I have any goals." 

Wow, that got uncharacteristically depressing at the end. Luckily the kids were too young and self-centered to question such things too deeply.

"What was that?! You didn't say anything but your name!"

"Well, that's all you need to know. Strong and silent, yes, you, go." The young Uchiha sniffed in what he probably thought to be a haughty or dismissive way. (He personally thought it sounded like Pakkun's sniffles in his sleep, but quickly pushed that out of his mind.)

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I have more dislikes than likes, and my hobby is training. For goals? My single ambition is to kill the man who murdered my clan." Ah, an avenger with both mommy and daddy issues. Wonderful.

"Alright. Sakuramochi; you're next."

Her cheeks puffed up in afront but she held her tongue. (At least someone knows respect for their superiors.)

"I'm Sakura Haruno! My likes are, well, I-I like -," she seemed to depart into a fantasy of her own for a moment, then abruptly snapped out of it. "And, uh, I don't like bullies. Or Ino. Or Naruto," she said, pointedly glaring at her less-favored teammate.