Words Will Be Just Words |Styles+Niam- On Hiatus|

Prologue

All the sign language is written 'like this' since I don't know how to do it. So, yuppers.

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Prologue

I stared at the floor, not moving. If I didn't go, that means there wasn't a funeral. If there wasn't a funeral, there wasn't a death, and Emily would still be alive, standing right next to me, going on and on about how cute Niall was or how hungry she was.

No, she couldn't be gone. Not like that. She has to be alive, this must be a cruel joke. A sick, twisted little game. She would do something like that, wouldn't she? No, she's my twin. She would know how much it would hurt.

"Carlynn, come on, honey," Mum whispered from the doorway. I looked up at her and shook my head. "Carly, you have to get ready. We leave in half an hour," she sighs. I shake my head again and fall back onto my bed, feeling the tears fall from my eyes.

I hear my Mum approach as she takes me in her arms. "I know this is hard, Carlynn, it's fucking torture. But we need to get through this, together," she whispers, taking my hand. I nod and lick my lips, edging for sound to come out, but I make none, which surprises no one.

Right now, I wish I could scream. I wish I could curse everyone and everything for taking Emily from me, from ripping my twin sister, my best friend, my other half away from me. But I can't. The worst I can do is sign it, or write it down angrily, and that does no justice.

My mum leaves me to get ready and I do, throwing on a simple black dress and curling my long, brown hair. I try to hide the red rims around my blue eyes, but it achieves nothing.

I grab my phone and slide it into a small pocket on the side of the dress and headed downstairs. I hugged my dad tightly and picked up my little brother, Gabe.

"Sissy, where's Emmy?" He asked. My heart lurched and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. 'Emmy's in a magical place called heaven, and we won't get to see her for a long time,' I signed with one hand. He nodded in understanding.

That's why I loved Gabe. Like any seven year old, he had his questions. He didn't fully know what death was, or what being mute was, but he knew when to stop asking. He also quickly picked up on sign language, and although he couldn't speak it, he could read and understand it.

"Come on, we have to go," Dad instructed, in an emotionless tone.

He seemed to have no feelings about everything that happened, but he didn't always hide it. Of course, in his attempt to be a manly man, he would break down in anger and frustration. For the most part, he and my mum held together, but my mum would break down often, and my dad would cry once and a while.

We got into the car and drove to the funeral home, the rain beating down on the car. I couldn't help but think that Em should be here, happy and bubbly, not shutting up about anything, with Niall laughing at her, kissing her causing Gabe to hide his head in my side in digust.

When we finally arrived at the Cambell Funeral Home, I got out, holding the umbrella over myself with one hand, and holding Gabe's hand in the other. We got to the door and I refused to walk in, knowing that if I did, I would see her, pale and flushed, done up to be burried. Burried away in a box, forever. There would be no going back, no more denial.

I would lose her.

"Carly, go in," Mum begged. I shook my head.

"Come on, Gabe, let's leave Sissy and Mummy to talk," Dad said, taking my brother's small hand away from mine. they walked in and I saw Gabe look back at me, questioningly, until they finally disapeared around the corner.

"Carly, please," Mum asked. "Emily... Emily would want you to." 'No Mum,' I signed in refusal. 'I can't go in there. I can't see her like that.' "Carlynn Rose Jones, you get in there. You go make your sister proud," Mum ordered. 'I can't!' I signed dramatically. "You can, Carlynn. I believe in you. We believe in you," she whispered.

"I know this is hard, it's fucking Hell, but I can't bare to have you lose who you are. I can't let you slip away, Carly," she said, eyes dampening as the tears threaten to pour over. I bite my lip and wipe her eyes, before heading in, hand in hand with Mum.

I slowly walk up to the casket and look at my sister. Her beautiful blond hair was swept around her in loose curls, framing her round face. Her full pink lips were in a straight line, and her eyes were closed, covering the hazel orbs that once held passion, happiness, and that sparkle that never left. The sparkle that didn't fade away, like Em. She would never fully leave, she would always be every where. People will still talk about the bouncy, energetic seventeen year old that she was. Emily Kaitlynn Jones. The best sister ever.

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and I turned to see Liam. "Come here," he whispered. I hugged him tightly and let the tears fall from my eyes onto his black suit. "I'm so sorry, Car." I flinched at the nick name. Only Emily called me that, That's just how it was. But at this moment, I made no move to correct him, feeling too tired and too angry at the world to do anything.

'Where is he?' I signed. "With Louis. Zayn's trying to keep Harry from searching for you," he explained. I nodded and wiped my eyes. 'I'm going to go talk to him,' I signed. "Okay," he nodded, leading me to where the broken lad was.

When I saw him my heart broke more. I hugged him tightly as we cried together, while Lou patted my back and Liam supported Ni.

"I can't believe it," he whispered, voice shaking. Neither can I, Niall, neither can I.

"She... She killed herself," he cried. I pulled away quickly. 'Don't say that,' I signed angrily. 'She couldn't of! She didn't! She cared so much! She never would've done that.' I collapsed on the floor in tears and I felt someone drop down and shush me.

I didn't know who it was, but I curled up to them and cried into their chest.

I took a deep breath and realized who it was. I opened my eyes and looked into those mesmerizing green eyes. The eyes of the boy I fell in love with. The eyes of the boy who broke my heart.

The eyes of the boys named Harry Styles.

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A/N: I'm really excited about this story, and I really think it's going places... so urm, i dunno waht to say... BAZINGA!!!!! xx

Oh, and if you'd like (totally optional) you can check out my other fanfic, an endless rain... yup!