Fluff Fluff Fluff (Breddy Oneshots)

✂️ Scars 🤕

Yo peeps! Just saying this is going to contain some self harm, but it's gonna be fluffy angst so don't worry. Also if anyone is uncomfortable reading this please skip this if you want to. I'm not forcing anyone to read this, anyways hope you enjoy the book!

(Eddy's P.O.V.)

I need this...

I catch a glimpse of my reflection through my blurry vision.

I have to.

The piece of metal rests on my skin before pulling away sharply, causing an excrutiating amount of pain.

Besides, it's not like he'll care anyway.

He never did... and never will.

The boy who lived next door to my dorm. The cinnamon roll everyone loved and cared for. My best friend. They were all the same person, wrapped together with a bow and stored into Brett Yang. I always envied him, from his fluffy black hair to his powerful violin playing. He was older, wiser, and the best violinist in class that's for sure. I was just a follower... However, he never made me feel that way. He always made me feel like his equal, like a person, like his best friend. Brett was the kindest soul I have ever met, helping me from day 1. I am so grateful to have him. Maybe too grateful until I can't leave him.

I can't watch him go.

At first the feelings could be locked up in my heart, locked up real tight. Falling for his personality was something I tried not to make a big deal of it. Until the moment Brett found out about my secret. That the blades in my pencil case were not just for tearing up sheets of music that I didn't compose well enough.

"I'll never leave you Eddy. I'm going to help you fix this. You'll never need to do this ever again." He said, hugging me tightly as I sank onto the floor, sobbing in my knees. Throughout all these years, I always felt like everyone would leave me all alone, that there was no one there I could rely on. I was just shoved away once they knew the truth, not wanting to be with some 'mentally insane'. But Brett didn't do that, he kept holding on and trying. I've never felt so cared for in my life. At that moment in his arms, all my feelings broke out its barrier, pouring out all the lovey-dovey goo I wanted to get rid of. I decided then that this was who I wanted, this was who I loved.

But obviously looking at the situation, he sadly didn't feel the same way. Seeing the way he looked at that Ray Chen made my heart break. That gaze, those sleepless nights in the dorm thinking about him, the way he blushes whenever he hears the word Ray. He thinks that I didn't notice, he's wrong. Almost the whole orchestra knows about his little crush. This situation makes the fact that I'll never be with Brett unnoticeable too. It breaks a piece of my heart every time I think of it.

That's why I'm sitting here, getting relief from the blood stained scissors in my hand. They won't see the marks on my upper arm since they're covered by my suit, but that doesn't make the pain go away. It doesn't make the feelings go away either. In fact, the reason for why they're there haunts me. I turned to see the cuts overlapping each other, crimson red spilling from their openings. At least I can feel the pain physically now, instead of emotionally. The feeling of heartbreak is disgusting, and knowing that it can't be rid of makes things harder for me. I placed my attention on the white tiled bathroom wall, it's colour as pale as Brett's skin. The shadows welcoming the vandalised cubicles into the darkness reminded me of his black-rimmed glasses. The low whispers of the wind were like the boy's soft snoring when he fell asleep on my shoulder... my blood as dark as my blush at that moment.