Hey guys.
Really Long time no see.
After I wrote the laser tag part I went to college. Which is why I've been gone so long. I also didn't realize I would have this big of an audience.
Thank you all for 18K holy shit.
Her dark red curls frame her pale white face. The red from Nat of course and the curls from Bruce. Her tiny toes and fingers still; her eyes shut. The world around her quiet. A silence that seemed to be so reverent even the air tip-toed around them. That same cool air seemed to leech into everyone's bones as they hovered around Caria's crib.
"She's so still," Tony mumbled, dissolving the silence.
"Yeah." Bruce's agreement sounded hollow.
Bruce hadn't cried. It had been almost 24 hours and yet he couldn't muster up a single tear. It wasn't like he didn't want to. It just seem unreal. She was napping, yes, napping. His brain in an endless spiral of every other possibility except for the truth.
Nat had cried enough for the both of them. Even now she stood in the back, her head down her eyes closed, tears streaming down her face. Natasha had never cried for this long.
Steve slipped quietly behind the huddle. His warm arms finally reaching Natasha. She must have been cold because his embrace was more than welcome. Her damp face melting into the radiating heat of his chest.
"I'm so sorry Nat." He whispered into her hair. His eyes squeezed shut. It felt as if he was trying to squeeze the broken pieces of her heart back together with the tightness of his hug.
Caria had passed. They had been lucky with the amount of time they got to spend with her after that first dreadful diagnosis. 2 years was a lifetime considering that she was supposed to only have a couple of weeks.
"She'll never learn to ride a bike. She'll never fall in love. I'll never have grand-babies. She'll never go with me to get drinks. She'll never ask for money. She-"
"We get it." Bruce snipped at Nat cutting off the never ending list. "She's gone." His voice cracked.
The same silence settled itself back around the individuals huddling around Caria's small lifeless figure. It was as if each person thought if they looked at her long enough, she would somehow not be dead. The group stayed like that for quite some time.
A small nurse with light brown hair shuffled into the room. The group responded to the noise by looking in his direction. He was certainly uncomfortable as most people would be on the outside of this situation.
"Um...I am sorry to intrude, but we need to take her to the morgue. We are so sorry for your loss. But we have procedures we need to follow. I hope you'll understand." His voice was firmer than his appearance. Tony reached over and place a hand on Natasha who was now weeping louder. She reached out to grasp her daughter's tiny hand for the final time. Bruce as the nurse was talking never broke eye contact, his body tensed as the nurse's words hung in the air.
"Can we have a moment more," Bruce's eyes watered, his hands clenching slowly. "My daughter is ...have some decency," He barked at the nurse.
"Sir, I'm sorry we've already given you more time then we're--"
"It's not enough!" Bruce howled slamming his fist on the tray table next to him. Natasha and the rest of the avengers jumped slightly.
"Bruce..." Thor reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't touch me," Bruce shrugged him away.
"Breathe Bruce, you need to calm down, the man is just doing his job." Tony reassured from behind.
The nurse began to creep forward slowly, shaking slightly as he approached Bruce. He brushed passed Clint, Thor, Steve, and stood next to Natasha. Everyone except Natasha watched as he moved. The nurse placed a gentle hand on the back of Natasha's back and his other hand on the hospital crib Caria lay in.
"I'm so sorry ma'am. I really am." He had tears in his eyes as Natasha looked up to meet his. Clint reached out slowly and took Natasha's hand that was holding Caria's. He held it tight and pulled it slowly away. Numbly, Natasha took a couple steps backwards still keeping eye contact with the nurse, tears spilling from her eyes. The nurse was now frozen. He felt her sorrow in the pit of his stomach. He didn't want to take the child from them. He didn't though, the cancer did. The nurse broke eye contact with Natasha and slowly started to move Caria's crib. He backed up slowly and the group shuffled around to leave space for him to get through. All of them moved except Bruce. He stood stiff. Eyes locked on his beautiful baby girl.
"Bruce..." Natasha croaked out calling to him. The pain and torment that was wracking her body evident in her husband's name. Bruce looked up and for the first time in 24hrs, tears streamed down his cheeks. Natasha nodded at him and he stepped aside. No longer focusing on the nurse or his daughter but now to his wife who was the only one in the world who understood exactly what he felt. He took several steps forward, he legs wobbling under his weight. Natasha pulled away from Clint moving to Bruce.
(Guys, I'm making myself cry)
For the first time since they heard the news that she was gone Natasha and Bruce acknowledged each other. Their heads so full of grief of loss and pain that they forgot that they were not alone. Bruce reached Natasha slowly intertwining his large fingers with hers.
"Nat ...," The tears falling faster down his face now, "This is my fault..." His voice broke the reality of the situation finally sinking in. He had killed his daughter.
"Natasha we weren't even supposed to be able to have kids, why with all the fucking knowledge in this room alone had none of us thought this would be a probability?! I mean come on, I literally have monster genetics. Of course that's gonna kill an infant!" His sobs ripped holes in Natasha's heart. Tony, Steve, Wanda, Thor, Vision, Pepper and the others all pulled closer toward the couple.
"Bruce you couldn't have--" Natasha started reaching her hand up and placing it on his damp face. The door to the hospital room opened as the nurse wheeled her lifeless body out. The room fell silent again as the nurse now with tears in his eyes nodded toward them softly and the door closed behind him taking Caria to the morgue.
"We're the fucking Avengers! We saved thousands of lives! How come all of us couldn't muster up one fucking way to save one goddamn life?!" Bruce yelled his eyes closed his body now clutching Natasha's. She sobbed into his chest and He cried into her hair. The avengers assembled in group hug formation around Natasha. Tony hugged the couple first then Steve and so on until they were one big human blob.
There were things that could be said. Reassurances that could put a flimsy band-aid over the ache this was to bring to them. But right now they were just there for Natasha and Bruce. They could empathize and be a resource on the long winding road to recovery that may be a lifelong process, but at least they were not alone.
