This, is Touri Cowell.

I have a sex tape?! Cool.

Ellen, the boys and I have been rehearsing and recording previous clips for this show, I like her, she's chill. I liked the clips we prepared, clips of her and I preying on the boys, cutesy reenactments of after a show. As we pulled up to the studio I hopped out or the white SUV, my god, did I hate that Cu-- as I opened the door to the studio the artist rushed me a chair to prepare my face, we were on in 30 minutes I guess. Zayn and I wore something similar, after all, we are best friends. Zayn and I were both from Bradford, I went with him to the auditions for the Xfactor. I was staying with his family while my mom and dad were in America. More like when my dad was in America visiting my mom. I frowned at Zayn, who was sitting in the chair beside me getting his face touched up a smidge. I huffed and looked at him,

“Zayn... I need a drink...”

“That's the 15th time I've heard that from you this week, the 35th time I've heard it from you and Niall. You two have a problem.”

“Well--”

“Well, you'll live, we go back to London in a week.”

Shortly after the artist finished sculpting my face a high pitched crew member shouted at us,

“One Direction, we need you on the couches. Now.”

Me and Zayn got up simultaneously and headed to the entrance. I tucked myself between Harry and Zayn and looked up at Ellen smiling generously at us. The corners of my lips curled up as I greeted her with one. I leaned back on the seat and rolled my head over to Harry,

“Hello Harry...”

“Hi Touri. How are you?”

“Fantastic.” I small smirk plastered on my face, I placed my hand on his upper thigh making him twitch. I winked at him, it's more of a inside joke that we have. We sexually assault each other to a point of discomfort. He placed his hand on relatively the same spot I did to him. I felt someone push on the back of my head, Liam,

“Stop it.”

Me and Harry turned to him to protest but the cameras started rolling before we could open our mouths. After some introductory openings Ellen moved on to the segment where she asked us questions. I loved this,

“Now boys, and girl,” She nodded at me, “What’s one turn on, and a turn off.”

I tuned the boys out, staring down at my gold manicured nails while they gave generic answers that everybody’s heard.

“Touri, What about you?” Ellen looked at me with raised eyebrows.

I looked up at her and flashed a sideways smile,

                “Well, a turn on is… Tattoo’s just a bit, not a lot… Ew, and a turn off is a guy who has a lot of facial hair.

In the corner of my eye I watched each of the boys feel their face. Ellen laughed and sighed, I knew she was going to something more serious,

                “So, I know this is a bit of a awkward subject but, do you think that you could clear up the talk about your Sex Tape?”

I bust out in a laugh,

                “I have a Sex Tape?! Cool!”

Ellen looked at me like I was crazy,

                “Yes, of course, the one of you and… Bieber? The recording of noises coming from your dressing rooms the day after your Phoenix performance. Can we play the audio?”

Me and Niall were laughing so hard we were turning red, the other boys were staring at us like we needed to be committed or something. After the audio of our ‘Sex tape’ was played I explained,

                “Justin and I were having a singing contest, who could go the highest and who could go the lowest.”

Ellen looked a little bit taken back by my explanation. She moved onto more discussion with the crowd involving the boys more than anything, she was letting fans in the crowd ask questions. After about 10 minutes we started to perform. Before we did Lindsey had to pull me aside,

                “Please don’t do anything stupid.”

I snorted at her and pushed past her to get my microphone. I was known for doing stupid stuff at shows, one time, I took off my shirt, the publicists wrung me by my neck for 20 minutes. Another time, I tried to jump into the crowd of people screaming “Yolo!” but Paul had caught me mid-air and my plans were ruined. Frankly I was going to act perfectly normal, or at least try. I clicked onto the stage and I took my place between Zayn and Harry, flicking Liam in the back of the head before I rushed to their sides. I gave a brilliant smile at the crowd and a short wave at a cute guy watching tentatively in the front. Naturally my foot started tapping with the song as the music started. After the chorus I looked up uncomfortably at the stage lights. Those things, are hot. I nudged Harry during Zayn’s solo,

                “It’s fucking hot.”

He gave me a look, he hated when I said that, “Take your jacket off.” He shrugged before we all lifted the microphones to our mouths to sing the rest of the song. I ignored his suggestion, now way, I was wearing a black bra underneath a white tank top. At the end of the song Zayn hissed to me,

                ‘Are you sweating?”

I felt my forehead, huh, I was, wasn’t I?

                “Yes.”

                “Take your jacket off.”

I shook my head, “No, No, I’m fine. Why aren’t we getting off stage?”

                “We’re doing a 3 song set for the audience. Are you sure you don’t want to take your jacket off?”

                “No.”

                “No what?”

                “No I’m not sure I don’t want to take my jacket off.”

I peeled the wretched thing off and threw it to a crew member. I heard Lindsey’s loud gasp and mutters of frustration behind the stage as our next songs started playing. I perched myself in a stool next to Niall at the end of the group and tapped in a quick message to Lindsey,

Bring me another shirt… Please?

Why?

Does it look like I want to wear this outfit? I’m coming back there; get a crew member’s shirt.

I snuck off stage quickly to snatch a shirt from a girl wearing just a plain white tank top. I yanked the shirt over my head and got back on stage just as the chorus picked up. The boys looked at my new shirt, unsure.