ETIOLATED

RAINY SIDEWALKS

your earthy almond scent crushed against me
the leafy ground beneath my feet
your chapped lips between my teeth
your body sturdy and scarred
like a winter chestnut tree
rough bark beneath my fingertips
like a loose blackbird
i wanted to hold on
to make a home, stay there for an eon

but then the rain came; a total ether eclipse
everything got blurred, words slurred
because you said you wanted to know me
my greatest fear?
you sound like an addict
what did you want to hear?
is this it: "when i was small
my wings were clipped"
so when it came to the rainfall
it's no surprise; i slipped
is that the ground?

(this sort of hurts)

no, don't come down
don't fix me; you're not my nurse
i'd rather be a smudge on the sidewalk
than a songbird, spilling its sticky secrets
it's gore and it's guts and it's insides
all over you, your branches and your leaves
your pretty, pretty leaves
(they're my weakness)

besides,
my heart heaves
over chestnut coloured boys like you

i'd rather slip