I have rewritten Onision's story "Stones to Abbigale" (this version almost nine times shorter than the original and somehow more complex).
This took multiple weeks, breaks and looks at reviews to complete. This parody is used in my youtube video, I...
I was asleep, you can clearly tell this because my eyes were closed and I was horny. Whenever I tried to open my eyes I couldn't because the bloody room was white. My mom painted it to show me that I am going insane.
I am in an asylum. Please help me. I am in a coma.
By the phrase "I am in a coma" I mean that you are in a coma. You are in a coma. We are trying everything we can to make it clear to you that you are and we are hoping this works. This is a sign honey – please wake up. We love you so much. Please wake up.
Who am I? Well. (<- Authors' note: please imagine that the "Well" is in blue, as this was a Sans joke based on that one posts that depicts him convincing you that you, his spouse, are in a coma. Pretty cash money if you ask me)
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My bed is also metal – the ball and chain that weights down society is also made of metal oh my god please help me I'm having an existential crisis and by that I mean that you're having one.
You are in a coma. We are trying everything we can to make it clear to you that you are and we are hoping this works. This is a sign honey – please wake up.
Okay never mind, my alarm clock went off. Like usual (because I'm quirky) I wasn't hungry so I left for school.
I didn't need to be on time because my teachers didn't care about things like rules because the school was underfunded and they aren't paid enough. I'm telling you this now because there's no implication of this simple fact until it smacks you in the face because spoiler: the writing is for real awful init.
I walked into class and saw my dummy dumb teacher Mr. Hanson. He's old and he smokes and he's a history teacher so he's not relevant to me, Greg James-
"James, talk to me after class."
Wow, he interrupted my train of thought. That's so rude. It's not like he's an authority figure within the micro society I've set up within the book.
"I have a note."
"ok boomer."
...What?
There were only fifteen minutes left in class.
That's it, that's the content for this book. Anyway, I'm really quirky and I like analysing people because I don't understand human emotion – I'm basically an alien.
Wait, isn't that the third book? I'm so confused.
Class ended and I went straight to art class to go look at my anime gf, except she doesn't know it yet. I commissioned a very talented artist, somehow not katecoathanger, to draw her so I could put her on a body pillow and keep her close to me at night when my white room is dark and I'm just a bit more lonely.
You can cry for me, it's okay.
My art class took place in a trailer in the local centreparcs, although this is set in Washington but I got a C in Y9 Geography so it's fine.
