Today, when I was walking home from my grandmothers house, something strange happened. I think I can call it something positive. Since my mother couldn't pick me up from the house, I had to walk all the way - a long walk with a lot of thinking. At the time I came along the shopping mall, I was already tired. I decided to stop for a moment, to catch my breath and give my muscles a pause. My mind was blurry and I tried to clear it a little bit. For a little moment the sun came though the clouds and I looked up. Not to the sky, but around me.
The trees looked better with the sunlight, the colors become prettier with natural light. The buildings reflected the sun as if they were stars, all of a sudden starting to shine. The people's mouths curled up and a lot of smiles were around me. And that was the moment a noticed him - brown hair, green eyes and a black shirt with a dark creature wearing a black sweater, a teethed grin, glowing eyes and a fist in the air, Disturbed written in big, green letters on the side. He stared right into my eyes. It felt like he looked right into my soul, like he could see the pain in my heart and the scars under my sleeves. He took away all my negative thoughts, replaced them with faith and acceptance of who I really am. I wanted to walk over to him, hug him out of nowhere - but I got scared. I looked back at the ground, shy. I wanted to look up, see his beautiful face again. But I couldn't. I shook my head a little, taking the thought away, and walked straight home after that.
It's 2:36 a.m. right now and I can't get him out of my mind. I don't know his name, his age, his friends, his family or his story. I don't know anything. Anything but the fact that he is special and that he means a lot to me. It's strange how just a single stare could change my whole attitude. I've been thinking of names. Connor matches him, but also does Jack or Hunter. I can still see those green eyes looking at me, seeing me. It has been long since someone noticed me. I became part of the shadows in the crowd. I am normal, maybe even too normal. I won't start crying all of a sudden, I won't jump in if an accident happened and I absolutely won't talk to anyone in general.
I don't have any friends who'd go with me to places. The only friends I really talk to are at home, in my phone. I like talking with them. Most people would say they could be fake and that I should not trust them, but I do. I do and I love them. They understand my hurt, they're going through it with me. They're suffering from their own things and as they support me, I'd do anything to have them distracted from the bad surrounding.I've only met one of them in my life. She lives 67 miles away from me, but I took the bus and after a two-hour drive, I finally arrived. We had been talking all day, the hours rushed by. That was about a year ago, when I was still happy. We had so much fun, but I can't imagine how that would be the same if I went over there right now. We both got sadder, worse, depressed. Things are different now. Life is different.
