Monster // Peter Pan (Robbie Kay) (OUAT)

Chapter Forty One

a/n: i feel like everyone is waiting for pan and andria to get together and its coming but be patient and trust me :) theres so many big storms coming in the next 10 chapters i know y'all impatient rn but when it happens the way it does ur gonna thank me

also sorry again for not updating for so long i know it doesnt mean shit really but so much has changed in the past few years ugh i just wanna tell u guys everything thats happened but quick updates

-I moved out of my parents house !!!! what an adult

-I turn 21 on Feb 6 (i started writing this when i was 15)

-i am so so into astrology rn so tell me your sun/moon/rising if you wish (i'm an Aqua sun Libra moon Gemini rising)

-i've been dating my boyfriend luis for almost a year :')

i've been feeling extra connected to writing again lately and I had to come back to the thing and the people thats given me peace and solace the past 5-6 years. still love u all with my entire heart :)

These next few chapters shit is gonna pick up, b ready

*****

Chapter Forty One 

Day 100

I watched Oliver and Pan talk at the fire pit from my window.

The smogged glass muted their voices, but I could see Pan's fervent glare, and the back of Oliver's matted head. His scrunched shoulders. The way his anxieties ran through him like electricity. His hands hung in between his legs, clasped together with the heavy shackles, and a chain that followed to his ankles.

I wished I could see Pan's eyes from here. I wondered how Neverland looked in them when a piece of the island tried to take out another. I wondered if there was a blackness, beyond the pupil--if my near repose was ribboning into his iris. I remembered the way the undressed the darkness to find me--the way they undressed me. The way they bent back my skin and muscles to find the constellations within me.

I wanted to crack my window and eavesdrop but the squeak of the window would surely get me noticed.

So instead, I sat by it with my fingertips against the pane, morning dew beginning to dry up and vaporize in the corners of the glass, watching, listening in on aphasic conversation I wished I could be a blade of grass for. Just to hear.

I looked at Pan again. I couldn't read his face as well as I wanted. It was a blend of confusion, shock, anger, vengeful...and a little bit of absolutely nothing. His emotion resided behind his flesh in an impenetrable void. No where close to coming out. But very much there.

I hated how his pain began to hurt me.

In the same moment, I realized my side began to ache. I lifted my blouse to look and saw a rosy ring outlined in a deep, dark purple around my wound from training. I placed my fingers on the cut and gingerly and pushed into the skin to feel a wetness and an aggressive pain shoot through my ribs. I gasped and pulled my hand away, realizing instantly it had gotten infected.

After I had cleaned and wrapped myself up, I looked through the window to see Oliver climbing the ladder to his hut, and Pan walking towards mine.

I quickly jumped into bed and pulled the covers to my neck, slamming my eyes shut, and pretending to be asleep.

I tried to imagine how close he was. A few seconds of crossing the clearing, then he'd take a few getting to the ladder. But what if he gets distracted? What if he waits at the base for a second? What if he's not coming toward me at all?