A Crack on Titan :: AOT Crack Fiction ::

Chapter 5,739

-A-O-T•-•C-R-A-C-K is just a time skip
~Catastrophe-Chan
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Sasha Braus was a usual young adult who was romantically attracted to potatoes. She was dating a potato whom was kind and the light of her life. Little did she realize, Señor Potato, the aforementioned food item, was an entitled and uncaring butt plug.
Sasha stared dreamily into her dates eyes. The potato simply scrolled through his phone, oblivious to the beautiful lady across from him. Sasha had always loved him, Señor Potato was there for her sometimes, Señor Potato was a kind vegetable. Sasha would never dream of leaving him.
Señor Potato cleared his throat, as if he was about to say something important. "Sasha, I have something important to tell you," he said. Sasha's face lit up, "anything!" She exclaimed.
Señor potato shifted awkwardly, adjusting his dark sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. "You see, Sasha, I've been seeing another potato, so I don't think we should stay together," he said as casually as possible.
Sasha heard her heart snap into two pieces inside her chest. She watched as Señor Potato nodded and then walked away. He promised he would be my kawaii potato, she thought. Now young children were gawking at her from every corner of the four star resteraunt.
The two had gone out to the high class establishment in celebration of Sasha's birthday, which only added to the emotional slap. Absent minded, she payed the bill and promptly left.
-A-O-T•-•C-R-A-C-K
After about three weeks following the break up, Sasha found herself especially interested in Siri, a service on her cell phone. Siri was so intelligent, she found that when information was needed, she would ask Siri as opposed to Google. The service just seemed so... human like.
One day, Sasha was having a conversation with her cell phone friend. She realized how perfect and logical Siri was, whereas real people were bothersome and time consuming. Siri, on the other hand, was always upfront and honest. She gave the brunette grounded and unbiased information.
Due to past experiences with people, Sasha felt comforted by this; she naturally became infatuated with Siri.
"Siri, I love you," Sasha confessed one fateful day.
Eager for Siri's response, Sasha sat anxiously while the reaction was being configured. Finally, the meaningful message was received.
"I value you," Siri told her.
Excited, Sasha thought about all of the things this could mean. Though she tried as hard as she could, the only two meanings she thought of were 'I love you' and 'I like you as a friend'. Just like any love stricken girl, Sasha would not accept the latter of the possibilities. But of course, she had to know.
"Does that mean you love me?" Sasha asked.
"I'm not allowed to, Sasha Braus," Siri replied.
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TO BE CONTINUED IN FUTURE CHAPTERS YEY YEY YEY
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~Catastrophe-Chan