Count To Ten - KiriBaku

Two.

POV: Bakugo

Two months of pain and pining see our relationship revert back to normal, or at least as normal as it can be. It's painful, watching him pine over me, knowing I can't love him. Nobody can force their emotions, even though I'm pretty good at faking mine.

Thing is, I'm unsure about Kirishima. He's so soft and funny and sweet and an overly good person, to the point where nobody can help but love him. I love him too, platonically, I'm one hundred per cent sure. But... do I love him as anything more? That, I still need to figure out. However, every time I try to think about it, I come up with the same answer - no. That makes everything twice as hard.

Eijiro. I think about everything I know about him, and boy is the list long. He's the only one I trust. My very best friend. He dyed his hair red and he spikes it up with gel every single morning. His quirk allows him to harden any part of his body until it's rock-solid. He idolises Crimson Riot. He is everyone's favourite person, so genuinely nice and smart. He got his scar as a child, when his quirk first manifested. His teeth used to not be so sharp, and his molars still aren't. He is in love with me.

I'm sitting in the cafeteria, eating rice and noodles, only nursing my grudge against my own emotions. Deku sits across the room from me, and beckons me over like he does every lunch time. Oh boy, here it comes, the whole 'faking emotions' thing.

"FUCK OFF, DEKU!" I scream. It comes naturally. Years and years of yelling at him, watching him and that fucking half-and-half go out together, and wondering why he thinks I hate him. I'm just about blazing with rage when Kirishima and Mina sit down with me.

"Hey, Eijiro," I mutter. Deku goes back to talking to Iida and eating his rice. Todoroki shoots a glare my way. If looks could kill, I'd be dead fifty times over thanks to that fucking nerd. So defensive of his boyfriend, who I wish could be mine.

"Way to acknowledge my existence," Mina whines, giving me a friendly push. Before I can threaten her in my usual friendly manner, Kirishima interjects.

"You've got to stop being so hard on him if you expect him to like you," I hear him say, his joking tone shadowed by a thin lining of despair. I don't look at him. I know the heartbreak in his expression is there. Why bother to check, anyway, if I know what I'll find?

"Yeah, I know that, shitty hair," I grumble. "Shut your fucking face hole and eat your noodles before they get cold!"

"Aww, I always knew you cared about your friends, Katsuki!" Mina pipes up.

"FUCK OFF, PINKIE PIE, ONLY EIJI CAN CALL ME THAT!" I shoot a smirk in my best friend's direction. He's grinning like a maniac. Like a best friend would.

I'm about to keep yelling when I'm hit with a wave of confusion. For a second there, our friendship seemed so natural. Like I hadn't faked my feelings for him, like I'd never taken half a week off just to avoid him, like I'd never even kissed him, felt him, taken his clothes off. It seemed so... normal. Dull, even. Lacking the love that has become essential to our relationship, a fundamental piece of Kirishima's being. I suddenly feel horrible - I've made him sacrifice his emotions to make me feel comfortable. My best friend. Who I love.

Then I start questioning everything; Do I even like Midoriya? Am I actually in love with Kirishima? Do I want to kiss him again? Suddenly, I do. I'm taken off to a world in which Deku never even existed. I love Kirishima. He loves me. I'm less mean, less abusive, and overall a better person. I don't poke fun, or call people names, or snarl when I speak. I can kiss him whenever I want, and hug him, and feel his strength and steady safety. And I'm in love.

"Bakugo?" 

Oh, that's right! Humans exist. Mina worriedly clasps her small, pink hands around my arm, trying to shake me out of my dream. Eiji has a hand on my shoulder.

"Katsuki? You all right, dude?"

I look into his eyes and find my fantasy world gone, blown away like smoke in the wind. He still looks worried, though, so I offer him a smile. A small consolation for the trouble I've caused him. "Yeah bro, just spaced out for a minute."

"More like ten!" Mina gestures towards her watch. Shit - lunch is nearly over! My noodles and rice have gone cold, so I scoff them down remarkably quickly. Yuck. I hate cold soba. 

Just as the final noodle slides into my mouth, the bell for class rings.

"Perfect timing," Kaminari chirps from somewhere over my shoulder. I startle a little bit - where the fuck did he come from?

"FUCKING PIKACHU! I WILL SHATTER YOU LIKE-" 

"Like glass, yeah yeah, we know. It's your favorite saying." Sero appears in a similar way.

"Who the fuck even are you two?" Kirishima laughs.

"Doesn't matter," Mina interrupts, "we just gotta get to class soon! Mr. Aizawa will kill us if we're late."

A couple minutes of rushing later, we arrive at our cohort. Mineta, Uraraka, Tsu, Shoji, Hakagure, and Ojiro have joined us on our way. We walk into class and I survey everyone present. Momo and Jirou are at their seats, but Todoroki and Deku are nowhere to be seen.

Aizawa doesn't hesitate, though. He begins lecturing us on proper classroom etiquette and punctuality before moving on to the history of Quirks. Within a couple minutes, I'm practically snoring, as is everyone else, minus Midoriya. He somehow fucking materialized with Todoroki, and is now scribbling almost manically in his notebook. 

I lean back in my chair and prop my feet up on Momo's chair in front of me. "This is SO boring, sir! When will you teach us actual hero stuff?" 

"When you learn your manners, young Bakugo," Aizawa shoots back. Fair play. "Also, there's no need to worry about boring history lessons for the rest of the day."

With almost impeccable comic timing, the bell rings, signifying the end of the day. Everyone in the class rushes outside, hastily stuffing books into their bags. A chaotic fumbling results in Eiji and I being spat out into the corridor.

"I'll see you tomorrow, dude!" he calls, running back to his dorm.

"You too!" I reply. I turn the other way, smiling to myself. Maybe we are mending our bond, bit by bit. I'll see him tomorrow. We can talk about all sorts of dumb shit then. We can be best friends again.

Or we could. 

But Kirishima didn't show up to school for the rest of the week.