Count To Ten - KiriBaku

One.

POV: Kirishima

One look in his eyes, and I know I'm screwed. I can see the look on his face, the expression I've seen so many people wear. "Bakugo," I manage to choke out, "You said you loved me..."

He drops his eyes to the ground. Behind this secluded sector of UA, where nobody bothers to look, is where my best friend can be vulnerable. He never is with anyone but me. Around here, the concrete towers stories tall, and bushes hide us from direct view. I highly doubt anyone could find us, even if they tried. 

When Bakugo speaks, it's almost as soft as his touch. His solid hands hold mine tenderly, although I can tell he's about to let go. "Eijiro - you can call me Katsuki. I've told you a million times." He moves his hands to my back, his head to my shoulder, hugging me. He doesn't seem to care when I begin sobbing into his shirt and trembling like a leaf.

"Katsuki - " I begin, right before a wave of tears blocks whatever passage my words were to follow. I want to yell. Scream. Tell him how I feel. I love him! He said he loved me! He hugged me! Kissed me! Slept with me! How does he think he can take it all back?

And now... he's leaving me for sure. I'm braced to push away from him, yell and scream like I need to. But I'm drained. I sag into his shoulder and manage just one question. 

"Why are you leaving?"

He sighs into my ear and kisses my cheek. The touch of his lips anywhere near me now seems so putrid. Repulsive. Just days ago, he'd said he wanted to be with me. Just days ago, I would have accepted the kiss without hesitation. Eagerly, even. Was it all a joke to him? Did he think I was kidding? The way he's stroking my head right now, trying so hard  to calm me down, suggests otherwise.

"Eijiro... feelings are tricky. I didn't want to hurt yours so..."

As what he's trying to say hits me, I finally find the rage I need to step back and push him away. I'm keenly aware of the sensation of his hands slipping from mine. "You lied? You lied! Why would you lie about... about loving someone?" I glare at his down-turned face and almost feel bad when I see he's crying. Doesn't matter.  What he did to me was worse.

"Eiji-"

"No! Shut up! What excuse could you even use to justify playing with someone's feelings like that?" I feel my hands go rock-hard as my quirk reacts to the flow of emotions coursing through me. That combined with the way my head is spinning... I might collapse. I stumble my way over to a convenient block of concrete and use it as a sort of crutch. My body weight is the least of my concerns. At this point, my heart feels like it weighs more than this entire city of cement.

"Eijiro." 

Katsuki. He just won't give up, will he? Didn't my outburst scare him off? 

Then I realize. I don't want to scare him off. He might be a jerk, and a heartbreak, but why was I even close to him in the first place? He's a good friend. My best friend. And I'm his best friend, too. 

 "Yes, Katsuki?" I respond, smoothly removing all edge from my voice. I force myself to look into his eyes, and when ours meet, he smiles. 

His smile. I'd say I forgot how dazzling it was, but I'd be lying. I could never forget, not in a thousand years, how perfect it looked when I had kissed him. How satisfied it had looked when he was underneath me. How cute it looks when he smiles at me, at all. How right it feels to smile back, forgive everything wrong he has ever done, and lean forward and kiss him. Wait, I remind myself. No more of that, not right now. Not ever again.

"We can still be best friends, okay, Eiji?"

"Yeah, Katsu. Don't worry."

There's a somewhat awkward pause. I'd better get used to that, I think. There'll probably be a lot more than just this one.

"I reckon I knew a while ago, Eiji."
"Huh?" 
"That you like me. No, wait, are in love with me. It was pretty obvious."

I huff in a sort of half-amused-half-annoyed way. "Why, because almost everyone in 1-A likes you? I mean, how different could I possibly be? And of course there's that classic 'soft best friend is in love with tough best friend that is only soft for them' thing. And it's also the way I act. Shit, is anything I do not an indicator of my feelings for you?"

Another awkward pause. Katsuki's phone buzzes, and his peaceful, melancholy gaze is replaced by a harsh scowl. 

"Fucking Deku," he growls. I know, it's stupid of me, but I suddenly feel abandoned. Of course, Bakugo likes his childhood best friend, and is just too awkward to confess his feelings. The star hero, Izuku Midoriya, always aiming for the top, just as Bakugo does. There's another emotion there too - what is it? Diluted rage? Sad happiness? Oh. Jealousy.

"I've got to get going," Bakugo says, beckoning me over to him. I'm pulled into a hug. Not the kind that means, 'are you okay? I know I put you through a lot, and I'm so sorry.' The kind that means 'Okay bro-dude, see you later,  I'll catch you at the B-ball court' or some other bullshit along those lines. I feel a pang in my heart, and for the millionth time in the past half hour I can't help thinking that it won't be the last time.

As he walks away, I let the tears pour. I don't try to stop them. Empty, clear drops of emotion roll along the curve of my jaw, splashing inaudibly on my uniform, and I know for certain I'll be crying over the handsome ash-blonde a million times before I can get over him.

If I close my eyes and count to ten, I can imagine it's that night again. His hands running through my hair, down my naked back, between my thighs. The heat, the friction, the chemistry. He fucking slept with me. And it didn't mean a thing to him.

I pick up a discarded glass bottle and throw it at a wall, and an involuntary scream retches from my throat. I watch the bottle shatter into a million tiny pieces, similar to my heart. It's exactly what I needed.

I straighten my uniform, and walk away from the corner where my heart was broken.