How could we say Goodbye?

Chapter 19

Word of warning... from now on this story gets really sad in the next few chapters. Please dont hate me. There is light at the end of the tunnel... but its a dark dark tunnel...

You stayed sat in the same place for around 50 minutes, before Grant told you that you couldn’t sit there forever. Even though you felt like you could.

It was like your world had stopped.

Grant scooped you up like a baby and carried you upstairs, he placed you gently on your bed and you let him lie next to you, propped up against your pillows, you put a hand around his waist burying yourself into his side; and let yourself burst into tears.

You soaked his shirt, and as much as you tried to cry quietly you just screamed louder and louder; you were crying so hard you could barely breathe.

An hour later you still hadn’t stopped crying; Luke walked up and whispered in Grants ear “Oh my fucking god…” Grant muttered, so you assumed it to be the news. Luke walked around the bed and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I'm… so sorry…” he said before leaving the room. You carried on crying in Grant’s arms and he leaned into you, you hid your face and cried until you couldn’t cry any longer.

Looking up into Grants eyes, you did your best to give him a sad soft smile and he returned it, he looked adorable in his geeky glasses, so at least that gave you a reason to find some droplet of happiness in yourself.

You stared into his eyes, your own glazed over with tears and let yourself get lost in them, before drifting to a peaceful escape, sleeping in his blanket of comfort.

When you woke up, Grant was sleeping beside you. It was the middle of the night and you decided to wander downstairs to see if the others were still there; they were. Sprawled all around the lounge, sleeping and looking so happy.

You caught a glimpse of a photo of you, Jeff, Amanda and Maisie on the mantel piece, and it hit you what had happened.

You wished it to be a dream.

You had to let some emotion out… somehow. You paced to the kitchen and abruptly started slamming and opening drawers, before you got everything out of the cupboards, grabbing the products and pilling it on the tables and stacking packets on top of packets of anything you could find.

You snatched some lettuce from the fridge; it was the closest thing to you. Grabbing a large knife, you started chopping it violently into rough chunks before throwing it all onto the floor.

You walked back to the fridge, and let tears roll down your cheeks as you pulled out mounds of food, chucking them on the floor and trying not to scream.

You started chopping some tomatoes and, anything you could find to rip or cut, like your heart did. Tears flowed down your face as you kept trying and failing to steady your breath, carelessly you allowed the knife to cut the edge of your thumb.

You collapsed onto the floor in a heap; picking up the fruit next to you and screaming and bursting into a loud cry as you lobbed it across the room to join the rest of the food lying across the floor and work surfaces in the room.

That was when Luke walked in.

“Shit, GRANT? Fucking hell, shit babe come here please it’s okay, you're okay, come on babe please” You shook your head and put your head in your hands, rocking back and forth and not bothering to hold back the screams inside you.

Grant legged it in and took a look around the room. His eyes widened in horror when he saw the mess you were in, he didn’t say anything, but a single tear rolled down his cheek.

He didn’t know if he could do it, see you like this; but he knew of all the times you needed him, now was not a time to back out.

The others somehow slept throughout this, but Grant and Luke stayed by your side in the kitchen.

Every time you screamed louder they pulled you closer, Grants hand was protectively against your head, and his chin resting on your hair, whilst Luke had a hand on your back, trying to talk to you, but you couldn’t hear what he was saying, his voices drowned out by the tears. 

Hours later Grant had placed a plaster on your thumb, you tried to stand up and took a few steps forward. Luke and Grant were smiling at you sadly, as though trying to encourage you to move, you leant against the kitchen table when you reached it and let Grant pick you up again as a wave of dizziness flooded your mind, not protesting in the slightest when he took you back upstairs to the comfort of your bed.

At least you didn’t have to pretend you were okay there.

You sat upstairs, your eyes glazed over with tears. Not moving a muscle, you still couldn’t believe this had happened to you, like really, actually happened.

You could hear mumbling between Grant and Luke, but you couldn’t hear what they were saying. You didn’t even know if they were talking to you or not; but at this moment, you didn’t even want to turn your head for fear of seeing something to smash or tear.

You couldn’t control anything.

That was when Luke picked you up, your limp body curled up into his and you saw his eyes glaze over with tears at your small, weak form.

He placed you further up the bed, Grant and Luke sat either side of you as though they didn’t trust your actions either. But, they were also your protection; and you were grateful for that.

The morning after this, a letter came through in the mail, the one you were dreading. Grant gave it to you and nodded to inform you of the letters contents, you turned away and he understood what you meant, so after placing it outside, he ran back up to you and hugged you whilst you sobbed into his shirt.

 

 

November 3rd 2014

To whom it may concern:

                 This is to confirm Jeff, Amanda and Maisie Anderson’s funeral on the 5th November at 12.00pm We hope you can attend, to show support to the family, who passed away in a car crash. Miss Anderson would be very appreciative if you would show your support, and say a few words to show your appreciation.

We are grateful to any who will attend, and thank Luke Forlen for arranging the funeral with our company.

Sincerely,

Funeral Director.

...SORRYYYYY