online || lrh

41

leyla: where are you?

luke: at the shops, you okay baby?

leyla: my head hurts, what the fuck happened last night

luke: somebody got a little too carried away with the drinking

leyla: oops

leyla: im sorry lukey

luke: it's okay, just don't do it again

leyla: dont do it again?

luke: it was reckless

leyla: reckless? what the fuck? I was having fun at my friends house.

luke: yeah but you took it too far ley

leyla: how? 

luke: we will talk when I get home

leyla: fine.

leyla couldn't understand what the big deal was. yes, she got crazy drunk but she was safe in crystal's home, didn't do anything stupid and needed some fun after what had been going on. she was struggling to deal with being the reason the boys aren't talking and luke being too caught up in his music to give her any sort of attention.

crystal: how you feeling??

leyla: like crap and luke is still mad, it is ridiculous

crystal: what's he mad about?

leyla: he said it was reckless. I was very drunk yes, but fucking hell it was a bit of fun, I needed it

crystal: you did

crystal: the stuff you said when you were drunk ley, do you remember?

leyla: not really? what did I say?

crystal: you said you weren't happy with luke anymore and didn't like the way things are

leyla: fuck

crystal: is it true?

leyla: I think so

leyla: I can't handle it anymore, its my fault the boys hate each other

leyla: luke barely gives me attention, I get it, his music is important but what about me?

leyla: one minute he's all lovey and the next he's not

leyla: and I love him but this isn't right?

crystal: you need to tell him, ley, see what you can sort out, you dont want to lose him

leyla: I really dont

leyla waits for luke to get home, not really sure what to expect from him or what to say to him.

the front door eventually opens and luke comes in with several bags. leyla helps him unpack the food and they remain in silence. once done, luke walks over to leyla and pulls her into his arms and they remain there for a couple of minutes before they break away.

"want to tell my why you got so drunk last night?" luke asks, leaning against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. leyla looks at the floor, nervous.

"it was just a bit of fun with a friend, a stress reliever." she admits, biting her lip. luke gives her a look to explain what she means. "things have been so weird at the moment. you're focussing on your music which is great but you barely have time for me. yes, sometimes its great but most of the time its not. and I feel so guilty for being the reason you and the boys aren't talking, I can't be that person, luke!"

"you're not that person. calum is." 

"yes because of me!! why can't you just accept it is because of me!" leyla shouts.

"because if I accept it im scared you'll leave me!" luke screams back. "why do you think I've been so fucking distant?" tears fall from leyla's eyes as she realises luke has been struggling as much as her. she steps forward and rubs his arm with her hand, trying to comfort him.

"I dont want to leave you, I love you so much. but maybe we should take a step back until things go back to normal? you need to put the boys first." she says, the tears still coming down fast. luke wipes them away with his thumb.

"but you need to be first, ley. I dont want to take a step back." luke admits, tears now falling down his cheeks as well. 

"its for the best. you'll still have me. but maybe I should move out for a while? so its not so intense, you and the boys can patch things up, without me always being around." 

"no, you can't leave! where would you go? I can't be without you." luke shakes his head, refusing to let leyla leave. 

"I can go to crystal's, she will let me stay a while. it won't be for long luke, its for the best." 

"no." he sobs, covering his face. leyla pulls his arms down from his face and cups his cheeks in her hands. luke couldn't believe what was happening and didn't want to admit this is for the best, he would be lost without her around the house. 

"you can still see me, just not all the time, we can call and text everyday. I love you, luke. im going to go call crystal to ask if it's okay and if she can pick me up."

"at least let me drive you!" luke cries. 

"no." she stands on her tip toes and presses her lips to luke's before walking away and upstairs to pack. she calls crystal and she accepts straight away and tells her she's leaving now. leyla puts her clothes in a bag. 

luke stands in the kitchen for a while before going upstairs to spend the last few minutes with leyla. he stops her from packing and grabs her, kissing her hard. "I fucking love you." he mumbles against her lips. "I love you too, lukey, you're the best thing that ever happened to me." she cries. 

crystal soon arrives and leyla heads out to the car, giving luke one last kiss. he watches them drive away and eventually closes the front door, sliding down to the floor, crying his eyes out. he couldn't believe he'd lost her. yes, they were still together but its not the same, he couldn't live without her. all he wanted was her back with him and the boys back together and friends.

in the midst of crying he picks up the phone and calls ashton.

"hello?" ashton answers.

"im so sorry." luke sobs.

"mate, what's wrong?" ashton asks, sounding worried.

"ive fucked it all. everything. she's left because she feels responsible for us not talking. I can't live without her, ash. I can't live without you guys." luke cries.

leyla: stay strong lukey, ill see you soon. I love you with all my heart.