Unlovable

Gabrielle

The first people I meet at this school are literally the definition of "cocky jocks". They're both in football, both Gods in the body department and both have smiles that make me forget who I am. Seriously though, does this town create their kids in a tube cuz DAMN. They're perfect.. not that I'd ever admit that out loud. I'm the complete opposite of these guys and yet they're sitting here, talking to me like I could be their new best friend.

I don't usually interact with people at school so their introduction kind of caught me off guard. I didn't think they'd even glance at me, let alone talk to me. Especially after I chewed them out this morning for being slower than tortoises. Maybe they didn't realize that it was me.. I feel kinda bad about it now but they had it coming taking their sweet time moving out of the way. Like honestly, some of us have places to be. But maybe I should apologize anyways..

After they introduced themselves, being completely full of themselves, might I add.. class starts and we jump right into making Father Clocks. Out of nowhere, Haiden went from hot to icy cold.. he won't even look at me, he won't talk to me and he keeps a large distance between us. It's weird. I didn't think I did anything wrong but who knows. People are so sensitive nowadays that breathing the wrong way hurts peoples feelings.

I discreetly check my breath but it really doesn't smell like anything but coffee so it's not that. Unless maybe he hates coffee. Then maybe it is me. I don't know why I care, anyways. He's just some dumb jock.

****

The next week passed similar to the first.. quietly and deathly slow. No one other than Jackson talked to me. I haven't even gotten a second glance let alone a hello from anyone. But I guess Haiden hasn't talked to me since the first day either. He looks at me like I have the plague now. I honestly haven't a clue what I did.

His friend though, Jackson, talks to me everyday and has never been anything but friendly. He always has a bright smile and it's enough to make any girl melt at his feet. I can see how some people would be scared of him though. After all, they don't call him "Bulldozer" for nothing. He's big. He easily could squash me with a tight squeeze. It's kinda hot though, to be honest. I can only imagine how he is in bed.

Don't get the wrong impression from that last statement. I'm a virgin. A horny virgin, but a virgin. I want my first time to be with someone who gives a shit about me not just some one night stand. It's hard to get attached to anyone when you're constantly moving though. And the few I did get attached to, I had to leave. That's the joy of having a family that's always moving. It's hard to get attached and when you do you get ripped away.

Sometimes I think maybe I'm better off alone.. it hurts less. At 17, I've had my fair share of heart break and loser boy friends. I swore to myself coming here would be my fresh start. No boys. Focus on school, get good grades, graduate and move as far away from this boring, good for nothing town as possible. I want to goto college and meet a guy whose mature and responsible and will change my life for the better. There's no reason I should even try with these immature high school boys cuz they'll just break my heart and leave me in pieces. I don't have time for it.

Although I have to admit.. it would be nice to have a girl friend... a friend that's a girl. It sucks not having anyone at all.