Heartbeat (Completed)

Chapter: Eight

"Hey, can we talk for a second?" Steve asked Bucky one Saturday.

"Yeah, of course," Bucky replied.

Bucky was looking a little more tired than Steve was used to, and it was worrisome. Dark circles lined his eyes, and his color was a bit pale.

"Are you alright? You look tired all the time," Steve mentioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Bucky shrugged, hiding a pained gleam in his eye by ducking his head.

"Buck...don't lie. I'm not stupid you know," Steve frowned.

"I know. Sorry..." Bucky sighed, rubbing his face for a moment. "Father is worse than ever, and we barely made the rent last month. It was bad, Stevie. I'm just trying so dang hard to find a way out of this mess, and I'm not finding one..."

Bucky's voice was strange and thick, an emotion that Steve was not familiar with. Bucky sounded jaded, bitter, and desperate. Steve wasn't sure how to respond to that. It wasn't like he could help with the situation...

"I'm sorry, pal," Steve said. " But I'm sure you'll find a way out. You always do. Just...try to enjoy the good moments, you know?"

Bucky smiled a little, running his hands through his unruly curls. His shoulders relaxed for a few seconds, his face losing the hard lines and grim expression from before.

"Yeah. Thanks, Stevie. You always know what to say," Bucky chuckled.

The boys finished up twenty minutes later, and left Mr. Jensen to finish with the shop. The day was sunny and warm, and Steve found himself soaking in the sunshine as much as he could.

"Hey, wanna get some milkshakes?" Bucky questioned. "I can treat this time!"

Steve agreed immediately, although he knew his Mother would not approve of his choice. But a vanilla milkshake would just make his day.

The drugstore was nearly empty, so Steve got to choose his favorite stool. It was almost in the corner, but not quite, giving him a good vantage point without feeling claustrophobic. Buck easily slid beside him, right against the wall, and began to use his charm on the girl at the front counter.

Steve couldn't help but marvel at the way Bucky could deal with people. After just a few minutes of chatting, Bucky had managed to buy two milkshakes for 15¢, instead of the full 20. Steve shook his head in disbelief.

"What? I can't help it," Bucky shrugged smiling just a bit.

The boys spent their Saturday afternoon walking around town and talking. Bucky stopped at the park to play baseball for a while, and Steve sat on the fence and sketched him until Buck literally pulled him off and made him join in.

***

Saturdays Bucky's Mama had a book club to attend, the girls went to their friends homes, and usually one of the neighbors would watch a couple of the boys for a few hours.
This week Robbie and Ian were at Mrs. Perkins, and the twins were at the Hall's. Bucky knocked on Mrs. Perkins door first, a polite smile at the ready.

"Oh, hello, dear! I'll get the boys in just a moment. I believe they're out back with James," Mrs. Perkins told Bucky.

"Thanks," Bucky nodded.

Mr. Perkin's always had some project or another going on, much to Mrs. Perkins' frustration. But the boys loved helping or watching him, so they usually kept out of trouble.

"How were they today?" Bucky questioned, as he always did.

"Lively," Mrs. Perkins sniffed. "I don't see how your Mother keeps up with all you boys! I am nearly run off my feet, and I've only been minding them for two hours!"

Bucky knew that Mrs. Perkins loved having the boys over for all her bickering though. Her one sorrow was being unable to have children herself after an accident when she was young. So Ian and Robbie were welcomed with open arms, cookie jars, and any little thing the pair of childless adults could think up.

"You look a bit pale today, dear," Mrs. Perkins noticed. "Are you ill?"

"No, no," Bucky assured her, trying his best to persuade her. "Just a bit tired is all."

"I suppose you do work hard, trying to be the man of the family," Mrs. Perkins babbled, just as the others came in. "Lord knows your father isn't good at anything but making children, squandering money, and disgracing his name and family with his deeds!"

"Susan!" Mr. Perkins bellowed, making all the boys flinch in perfect unison.

"What?" Mrs. Perkins spun to face her husband, perfectly bewildered.

"I'm sorry for my wife's lack of discretion, Young Barnes," Mr. Perkins apologized.

"It's quite alright," Bucky said, a small quiver in his voice. "But we must be going now, and relieve poor Mrs. Hall of the twins."

Bucky brought the boys back to the house, feigning happiness so they couldn't tell how much he was bothered by Mrs. Perkins' cutting words. He knew she didn't mean it, but it was still hard to swallow.

"Jimmy!" Ian tugged at his shirt.

"What, Ian?" Bucky cocked an eyebrow, cradling Teddy to his chest as he stirred their soup for dinner.

"Robbie's hurt!" Ian yelped.

Bucky's heart dropped to his stomach as he turned. It was all his fault for not watching the little tyke...

Robbie held his palms out, showing how skinned up they were. Bucky huffed out a breath of relief, turning to move the soup to the back burner while he fixed the youngster up.

"Pish! This isn't anything at all," Bucky assured the boys. "We Barnes boys are tough, and we don't cry over stuff like this!"

The whole time he was speaking, he was also gently cleaning the scrapes with a wet rag, and putting some salve and bandages around the palms so they wouldn't get infected. Robbie, the tender hearted one of the bunch, couldn't help his tears, so Bucky dried his tears and hugged him until he was all better.

"Robbie's been so brave, I wonder he doesn't have a medal!" Bucky slyly changed Robbie's thoughts. "Why, he's practically a soldier!"

"Hey! That's a grand idea! Come on, Robbie, we can play soldiers!" Ian persuaded his younger brother.

The two boys ran off to go play, and Bucky returned to making supper and watching the twins. Before long, everyone was washing up for dinner, and Bucky was dishing out soup, a piece of bread, and a glass of water for everyone.

"Soup again?" Ian complained, frowning down at his bowl. "I'm tired of cabbage and potatoes!"

"Be quiet and eat, Ian," Mama Barnes scolded. "We don't have a lot, but we do have something to eat, a warm place to stay, and we have each other. That's plenty to be thankful for."

"It tastes different than last time, what'd you put in it?" Becky noticed.

"Oh...just some spices," Bucky shrugged.

Bucky was quiet during supper, but his siblings definitely made up for his silence. He just couldn't bear the thought of his neighbors judging their family for his father's deeds. He was different than his father, but he wondered if it would really make a difference, or if he would forever be branded by his father's name.

That night, as he brushed back Ian's hair from his forehead, he resolved to be what his father couldn't. He determined to be the man of the house - to be a real example his brothers could follow, to look out for Becky and Beth, and to be the support his Mama could rely on when times got rough. He didn't care what he had to sacrifice, what he had to give up - his family would not suffer for his father's neglect and drunkenness. Bucky would make up for it. He didn't care if it killed him - his family deserved better.