Heartbeat (Completed)

Chapter: Twenty Eight

Bucky felt like he couldn't breathe. Blood bubbled up from beneath his fingers, his teeth were locked together so tight it was a wonder that they hadn't broken yet. He felt cold beneath his bones, and yet, his skin was buzzing with electricity, making him sweat and blister in the heat of the situation.

"Hold him," Bucky coldly commanded Dum Dum. "Keep him still. If I slip, that's it, you hear me?"

What the heck was he doing? Bucky bit his lip too hard, and a ruby drop dripped down his chin. Dernier writhed beneath him, trying and failing to breathe through the pain.

Timothy sat behind Dernier, holding him in a tight grip between his legs and arms. He nodded once, letting Bucky know he was ready. Bucky took in a shaky breath. He wasn't a doctor, why was he trying to do this?

He knew why. Jones was on the other side of the firefight, which meant he was the best bet for Jacq's survival. Bucky glanced up at Dernier's agonized expression, hoping his own face was calm and indifferent enough to reassure Jacq.

"Okay, here we go. I'm not going to lie - this is going to hurt. I need you to breathe through the pain so you don't black out, do you understand?" Bucky instructed.

Shots splintered the log they were hiding behind, but Bucky didn't even flinch. He only lobbed a hand grenade in the direction of the enemy fire in retaliation. Maybe he could buy them a few seconds.

"Dum Dum, remind him to breathe."

Bucky grimaced as he used the tweezers to grab the slender metal casing from the oozing wound in Dernier's chest. Blood immediately spurted up into Bucky's face, soaking his hair and staining his skin crimson.

"Shit!" Bucky cursed as Jacq managed to wiggle just enough for him to lose his grip.

He needed to get the casing out before he sewed his friend up, but there was so much blood he couldn't see anything. Tim looked worried, and Bucky could feel that cool, calm facade slipping. His friend was going to die.

No! He couldn't let that happen.

He took a deep breath to anchor himself, then tried again. He dug around a little, causing Jacq to scream and choke in pain, but it couldn't be helped. Finally, he felt it again, and slipped the empty bullet out of Dernier's chest. Immediately he plunged a finger into his wound, stemming the fountain of life, and rummaging through the field kit for needle and thread.

"Dum Dum, put your finger over mine," Bucky commanded, needing use of both hands to thread the needle.

He grabbed a bit of iodine, ignoring Jacq's whimpered wail as it stung. Once Dum Dum had taken over for a second, Bucky threaded the needle and grabbed some gauze and a long bandage to secure it with. After holding the needle against the flame of a match, Bucky sized up the situation.

"Alright, let's go," Bucky nodded at Tim.

Blood gushed out, and Bucky worried when Dernier finally gave up, head sinking against Dugan's neck.

"Bucky? Timothy! Dernier!" Steve called out, emerging from a knoll a few yards away. "Where are you?"

"Over here, Cap!" Bucky responded. "Hurry up! I need Gabe right now!"

"Fuck! Jones! Man down!" Steve yelled, "I'll cover you, just get down there!"

Nobody had been firing since the last hand grenade that Bucky had gifted the enemy with, but it was better safe than sorry. Especially in war.

Gabe, Timmy, and Monty sprinted over, gasping in horror at the amount of blood that stained all of our clothes. Bucky scooted to the side to let Gave have room to work, letting him assess the situation.

"What happened?" Steve demanded, following everyone else after laying down some heavy fire.

"Later," Bucky tossed to him, focusing on Jones for the moment. "Right, as close as I can tell, his aorta was nicked. I got the bullet out, but he's bleeding way too much. I couldn't see the tear, so I don't know what to do..."

"Have you sterilized it?" Gabe nodded, rolling up his sleeves.

"Yeah."

"Good.  Alright. I'm gonna have to get in there and feel around for a second, when I do, I want you to be ready to hand me the needle."

Bucky did as asked, wincing as Gabe dug around inside of Jacq's chest with a finger. Dernier was out cold, relying on Tim to support his weight. The other men were standing in a tight circle around us, eyes on the lookout for danger.

~

Bucky knelt at the stream, scrubbing at his hands. The area had been secured, and Dernier had been sewed up. Gabe had advised them not to move Jacq yet since he was so weak. Maybe the next morning they could get him to a red cross station for some professional help.

"Hey, are you doing alright?" Steve asked, standing behind Bucky.

Bucky half turned, noticing the slump of his shoulders and his lax, fatigued expression. His normally powder blue eyes had clouded over, making them look grey and listless. Bucky didn't like it.

"I'm...Dernier's still alive, so yeah," Bucky swallowed hard, training his eyes on the rocks beside him. "I'm good. You?"

"I should've trusted you. You always seem to know these things will happen before they do," Steve frowned, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Jacq could've died, and for all we know he could give it up tonight, and it'll all be my fault! I chose the route, the strategy..."

"Steve," Bucky rolled his eyes. "You didn't know. It's not your fault. We got pinned, it happens. This is war, not some playground where all we do is throw a few punches and then we go home. People get shot, people die."

"What if I don't want that?" Steve asked, looking defeated.

"Well," Bucky shrugged helplessly. "We don't always get what we want. Just live in the moment and make no regrets. That's really all you can do, Steve. Do your best and if you make a mistake, don't let it drag you too far down. Make up for it one way or another. Keep moving. A step forward, no matter how small, is all you need. Focus on something positive, and push through."

"How'd you get so wise?" Steve huffed, lips curling slightly.

"Oh, I just listened to Mama," Bucky grinned.

"That explains everything," Steve grinned back.

And for a second, their eyes met, blue on blue. For one, tiny moment, everything felt just right. Like they were the only people in the world. For a tiny instance of time, Bucky felt like Steve's eyes were electrifying every cell in his body.

Something unshared, unsaid, had drifted between them, like a magnetic field, it was only growing stronger the more their gaze lingered.

"I should get going," Steve muttered at last, shifting back.

"Yeah," Bucky agreed, ducking his head to hide his smile.

Moments like those were what he lived for. The silent understanding, the raw friendship and confidence they had for each other. The mutual respect that never wavered, even when they disagreed or disapproved of something. In the end, it would always come back to it being Steve and Bucky against the world.

And really, Bucky was just fine with that.