It seems I've been getting more sick lately. I've been throwing up a lot more and my body seems heavy. Daniel says its because all the stress I've been under, but I think its more than that. Stress doesn't make you this sick.
"Maybe your....nevermind." Daniel says.
"No, tell me. Maybe I'm what, babe?" I questioned, sitting on his lap.
Daniel ignored me and unlocked his phone. I snatched it out his hands.
"Tell me what you were going to say, Diggy." I demanded.
He sighed and shook his head. He always does that when he has to say something that he doesn't want to say.
"I was going to say that maybe you were...you know..."
"If I'm what? Today nigga!" I commanded again.
"You know...pregnant. By that nigga. I mean, your period is late, you've been throwing up and you've gotten heavier. Plus, we haven't did anything, so it must be his. I mean, if you're pregnant." He said, rubbing my thighs.
I froze. Damn. I didn't even consider that. And to think of it, my monthly is late. I sighed. I know if I'm pregnant, that'll hurt Diggy. Or worse, Mijo will beat my ass until I miscarry. I felt hot stuff in my throat and ran to my bathroom. Diggy rubbed my back in small circles as I threw up more bitter stuff.
Mijo came in and sat down on my bathroom counter as I flushed to toilet and brushed my teeth.
"You still sick, BoBo? I thought that shit would be over by now." He says.
"Nah, she just pregnant." Diggy mumbles.
I give him a quick glare and continued to brush my teeth. Mijo was silent for a minute. Shit. I hope he didn't hear what Daniel said.
"Aye, could you give us a second?" Mijo asked Daniel.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Daniel nodded and closed my bathroom door. I felt a cold rush over my body. I hope he didn't hear that. I pray to the Lord he didn't hear that.
"What did that nigga just say?" Mijo asked.
"I-I don't kn-know, Daddy." I stuttered.
I always call him "Daddy", when I get scared. When I get in trouble, that's my only way out.
"It seem like to me, he just said that you was pregnant." Mijo said, hopping off the counter. "But maybe its just me. Maybe I can't hear."
I started full on balling. Not that I was scared, but at the fact that life isn't. It isn't fair that I might be carrying August's baby and I'm with Daniel. It isn't fair that Chris is in jail. It isn't fair that Santo died by a gun. It isn't fair that Mama died from drunk driving. It just isn't fucking fair.
Mijo pulled me into a hug and I cried in his chest. He rubbed my back and told me that everything is going to be all right. I know it ain't though. Nothing is going to be alright. Not now, not ever.
