chapter 52 - the morning after

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I woke up stiff and tired, and very aware of the weight that enveloped my body, Phillip had me in his arms as he spooned me.

And the feeling was like heaven.

I wanted to saviour this feeling a bit more,  I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be awake yet, and just for a few more moments I let myself enjoy the feeling if him next to me, the warmth of his body and the heat of his breath on my neck.

I daydreamed of how it would feel like if his lips kissed the soft sensitive part of my neck, where his breaths fell now, his hands squeezing me tight as they did when we woke up like this, or his hands up my singled, caressing by breasts and teasing my nipples. I felt this heat build up in me, and I tightened my legs trying to control the surge of desire I was feeling.

This was dangerous, and I shouldn’t be doing this or feeling this for this man and if I wanted to stop myself doing something that I would regret I needed to keep my distance from him and as slowly tried to move away from him I felt his arms squeeze me a little tighter and his lips brush against my neck, sending shivers down my body and goosebumps along my arms.

‘ I didn’t say you could go.” He whispered, eyes closed.

‘how long have you been awake? nevermind, it dosent matter. I have to, there is work to be done.”

“ that’s why I hire people. Besides, I know you have been missing me just as much as I have been missing you. Can you just forgive me please and lets start again?”

I turned to look at him and he stared right back at me, his longish hair falling over his face perfectly. Dammit why did he have to be so good looking?

“ This time its not just trust issues, its more than that. You kept a mistress . Paid a whore for sex and didn’t tell me about it. If you were getting all that from here, why do you want me? I don’t know what’s real or not. It was never a game for me . never pretend. But with you , I am never sure.”

He laid his head back onto the pillow, the arm around me refusing to let go and the other hand massaging his temples.

“ I’ll tell you everything. Everything you want to know. Every tiny little detail, whatever has been burning inside that little head of yours I will answer, no hesitations.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. I wasn’t sure. He was so much older, so much more experienced. He could tell me what I wanted to hear and I would believe him. But what if it wasn’t real?

“ you know you cant lie to me, your face, it gives you away, I know exactly what you are thinking, feeling, just by what your expressions show me.

I know when you are scared, nervous, and mad with me. i know when i have frossed the line or when i've pushed you too far.”

He sighed and propped himself onto one elbow.

‘ look, I am sorry I waved you away at the party. Its something ive seem my dad do to mother more than a few times and normally she would get pissed with her about it.

And I saw your face after I did it and it killed me, you know, I didn’t think it would hurt you so much.

You’re a fantastic dancer you know. No wonder your mum made you stop.”

He lay back on the bed and covered his head with the crook of his elbow.

“ fuck! How much did I drink last night? My head is pounding! The last thing I remember was you decking Melissa and then its all black after that”

‘ yeah, well consider that dance my swan song, is exams next week and then a full time job. Let me find Martha, I am sure she knows a good hangover cure for you.” I said wanting now to get away.

‘ nope, you stay there. We have unfinished business.’ As he threw his legs over the bed, palm against his temple as if to steady himself and he stumbled out of the room. A few minutes later was back, brown folder and a tea light candle.

‘don’t laugh but I saw this in a movie once.” He said as he lit the candle and placed it in the palm of his left and held his palm over the right.

‘ I, Phillip Maholtra , swear to you , Victoria Singh Maholtra , to tell you the whole truth about everything you want to know about my past. I will not hold back any from you and will answer all that you ask. I promise that there has not been another woman in my life, not since the day I asked you to be mine.”

“ Phillip, you crazy idiot, put that out before you burn yourself!” I shouted at him .

“ not until you accept my pledge!”

“ fine!”

‘ geez that took you long enough!’ he put the candle down and waved his had about.

I couldn’t help but laughing, he looked so comical jumping about trying to cool his hand and I watched as he collapsed on the bed, but as I moved I felt something sharp stab my chest and I doubled over hard.

“ hey tori, are you ok?” Phillip rushed to me pulling me close to him.

“ yeah I am fine!” I said and reached into my singlet and pulled out the usb. I looked at the offensive device not sure what to do with it.

“wants that?”

I sighed, he probably didn’t remember any of it.

“ Melissa came by last night and gave me this. She said it was proof that she set you up.”

‘ shit seriously? Where my laptop? Shit this hangover is gonna kill me!” he said lying back on the pillows. “ I kind remember a bit if it..its all fuzzy…but I think.. did you punch her?”

‘ well she went with more than she left behind that’s for sure.” I smiled to myself, I wasn’t the least bit sorry and fished around for some panadine for Phillips hangover. I wasn’t sure though if I wanted to see whatever was on that damned usb though, but before I had even tried to say so Phillip had grabbed his laptop and had plugged in the usb.

And I was unable to stop looking.

I watched as the video started, as the carrier put down the concealed recorder so that it had a full view of the room.

I watched as Melissa strutted into the room, I heard as she talked to him , as she circled around him, I watched as he paid no attention to her, heard him as her to leave, my stomach felt sick, and I relived so many of those awful feelings.

I watched as she unbuttoned her coat, letting it fall to the ground, revealing that she was naked underneath, that she had come to his office with one purpose in mind.  I admired how pert her breasts were and couldn’t help but notice that the G-string was no better than a piece of floss, she might as well has have been naked.

I watched as she got on top him and noticed how his hands gripped his seat, and how he turned his head away from her, avoiding her attempt to kiss him and watched as she instead planted her kisses onto his neck.

I felt sick, I wanted to throw up , but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen.

I watched as she wretched his had from the chair and placed it between her legs, practically gyrating on his palm.

I heard him tell her to put her clothes back on, to leave and then I watched his look of horror at the moment I walked in on them, Melissa’s round ass in the air in the lap of my boyfriend/husband. I watched as he practically threw her on the ground, almost tripping on her as he raced out to follow me.

I watched as she got up, put on her coat and adjusted her hat, then reach for what must have been her handbag and the video ended.

“ that bitch, that fucking bitch, she knew you were coming to my office . she planned the whole thing.” He said slamming the laptop shut and tossing it to the end of the bed. ‘ I hope you broke a few of her teeth as well last night.”

I couldn’t say anything. i rubbed my knuckes absentmindedly. My stomach was still sick but now I felt terrible, Phillip was innocent, he hadn’t been cheating on me, had he? How long had he known this woman? Did he have feelings for her? Where did I fit into all of this? Into his life?

I sat there, clutching the painkillers on one hand and the glass of water in the other.  Didn’t know what to feel, how to reach. Did I just forgive him and we went back to the way things were?

What now? Where did we go from here?

‘ I met Melissa a year after Angela died. Richard introduced me to her.

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