An Arranged Affair

chapter 28 fantasy or reality

‘ then you came along.”

I had sat there listening to his story, my stomach twisting in knots, he was in love with a ghost, in love with someone from his past, a past that he was not over, and as I sat there listening,  my heart sank deeper,

I felt sorry for him for losing the love of his life and I wondered if there was any room in his heart for me.

Tears pricked at my eyes, and I cursed myself for my budding infatuation with him, wishing that I too had a tragic love story. Wondering if I would ever have the chance to fall in love.

But then he said those words ‘ then you came along’ as if, by being forced into his life, I had changed him somehow, saved him somehow.

‘ You made me live again, you make me feel alive again. I like you Victoria, really like you, and I was wondering, would it be so bad if we gave this relationship a real chance?”

His eyes burned into mine, and the tears that had been forming in my eyes finally fell, and I nodded my head, my head finally agreeing to what my heart finally felt. I liked him too, and I liked him more than a lot.

My stomach was doing flips and my heart was racing as he snaked his arms around me, and tilted my chin towards him, his lips hovered close to mine, and he wiped away my  tears, and for the second time that day I wished that he would kiss me.

And he did.

His lips pressed down on mine softly, almost shyly, and I moaned as he ran his hands down my back, and his tongue took advantage of that and he deepened his kiss, invading my mouth with his tongue,  his kisses became more harder, firmer, forceful and he pushed me down onto the grass, kissing my chin and down my neck.

My body exploded in tingles and it felt like my whole body was on fire, his fingers found the patch of skin between my blouse and pants and his fingertips started to explore the skin of my stomach, edging closer and closer to where I had never been touched before. 

Something deep in my core stirred, i could feel myself tightening as he rubbed against the inside of my thighs over the material of my jeans and the dampness between my legs. My heart raced as he unzipped my pants and slid his hands down into my undies....

And with that I woke up, a scream caught in my throat, alone in the dark of the study, my heart beating in my ears and my panamas damp with sweat.

What the hell was that? The dream, it felt all too real. How the hell could i have had a dream like that? I had never even been kissed and the dream, it was going well beyond that.

In reality after he and finished telling me about Angela, he asked me if i had ever had a serious boyfriend.

I laughed and brushed it off the heavy feeling that had enveloped me.

“ No, nothing like that. The closest I’ve ever been to a boyfriend was in my first year of university. One of my classmates asked me out, and I thought he was the cutest guy I had ever seen. I was smitten and didn’t care that he was white, I figured that I would cross that bridge if we got serious.

Well, anyway, we met for coffees twice and on the third date he asked me when he was going to see me naked and when I was going to put out. He hadn’t even tried to kiss me so I threw my hot coffee at him and ran away. But it didn’t end there.

The next day the rumour mill was flying that I was sleeping with him.

I couldn’t take it, the whispers and the stares.

I literally didn’t talk to everyone and would eat in the corners, trying to hide as some of the other girls passed nasty comments at me and spread lies about me.

It went on for weeks. I didn’t know the guy was a rich legacy kid and he was well connected.

My facebook was full of awful messages, Instagram and twitter too, I had to close my accounts and I even considered changing universities.

I smiled, remembering the best thing that come out of it all.

“ That’s when I met Simmi.

She saved me, she came into the cafe one day, threw her bag next to me and kissed my cheek then walked over to the gossip party and said to them something like

‘ well I heard the poor girl dropped the jerk coz he had  teeny tiny cock, besides, why would she want a nasty piece of cock when she’s got all of this “ and she put her fingers in a v shape and stuck her tongue through them, walked away and sat next to me with her arm around my shoulders.

Then she said to me “ I’m Simron Kaur, mere jain. Call me Simmi.”

I was mortified, but at least the rumours stopped after that and Simmi and I have been best friends ever since. I guess being the resident lesbian wasn’t as interesting as attempting to date Mr popularity.”

I stared out at the ocean. It was so calm and beautiful. I wondered what it would feel like to walk in the water, feel the sand between my toes. I rubbed my arms, it was getting late and starting to get cold.

‘ lets go home.” I said, my brain full of his story of Angela and my heart ached and i holed myself in the study the whole night.

I pulled my blanket around me and curled up into a ball, fresh tears falling from my eyes, cursing myself again at why I so naively had started to fall for Phillip.