Peter Parker Whump + other stuff

Not really gone

Peter's POV

"You never forget the one who saw something in you that the rest didn't... the one that didn't quit when no one else believed in you,"

"Everyone else said I was crazy to recruit a 14-year-old kid,"

"I'm sorry..."

"I don't wanna go,"

"If you even cared you'd actually be here!"

"I'm sorry,"

"Tony,"

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory, that's the way life works. We lie, we take things for granted, we cry, we forget, we move on, or do we? We never truly move on, we may act like everythings fine but on the inside we all change and grow around the loss. Every moment, every word, every time I spent with him is something I'll never get back. The saying 'You don't know what you've got until you lose it' is a well known saying but you don't lose them do you. They are taken away from you and when they are taken away from you they take a piece of your soul leaving you broken, empty and lost. You don't lose them you lose the piece of your soul that has grown to love and care for them. Every embarrassing moment, every tear you shed in front of them, every time I laughed with him has become a memory, something that I hold onto every day because I'm afraid that one day I'll forget. I'm afraid that I'll forget what he looks like, what he sounds like and the memories I had with him. Sometimes I want to forget all of that stuff but I can't, the mark on my heart is too strong, it can fade with time but every picture, painting and photo I see brings back everything. I'll never forget the moment when his heart stopped but mine kept beating...

2 year later

Today is the fourth Thursday of November otherwise known as National mourning day. Not many people knew about it but since the snap, everyone would remember the people that faded into dust on National mourning day. 

I walked through the modern and fancy apartment and Happy was in the kitchen drinking a coffee while looking at the paper.

"Morning Peter," he greeted with a smile.

"Hey Happy," I replied pulling on my shoes.

"After you've finished at the graves come straight back here okay? I have something to show you at the compound," he said.

I nodded and shrugged on my jacket before grabbing my bag and leaving the apartment, I sighed and walked down the stairs and out into the snow. I shivered and drew my jacket tighter around me, a lot had changed since the snap, I had changed and the people around me but I was fine. Well, I acted like I was fine and everyone believed it so I managed to convince myself I was fine even though deep down I knew I wasn't. 

The snow landed on my brown messy curly hair and I cursed myself for not remembering to bring a beanie. After a couple of minutes of walking, I came to the quiet part of New York and there was an eerie silence, I pushed open the metal squeaky gate and walked between rows of graves. I knew this place well, I come here at least 8 times a year for death anniversaries and birthdays of Ben, my parents and only recently, Aunt May. I came to the four graves and squatted down in front of them and wiped the snow off the graves so I could see the names and dates, I tried to think of words to say but I sighed. They probably couldn't even hear me, they were gone and I was never seeing them again so why was I visiting a rock that had their names carved on them?

I stood up and looked away from the graves, there was no point to do anything anymore. I had no one to live for and no reason to visit these graves. I kicked the snow and angrily left blowing out a sigh as tears pricked the back of my eyes, I blinked them away and ran out of the graveyard and all the way home. I slipped on the snow a bit as I ran but luckily I didn't fall over, I jumped up the flights of stairs and opened the door to the apartment. Happy's my legal guardian now since in the past five years that I was gone they got married so technically Happy's my step-uncle, I don't really think about that sort of stuff. 

"You're back soon," Happy stated walking out of the hallway in his usual suit.

"Didn't feel like staying," I replied as I brushed the snow out of my hair with my fingers.

"Well come on, I need to show you something at the compound," Happy said clapping my shoulder.

I groaned and followed Happy out the door, he locked the door and we drove to the compound that had been rebuilt within the past 2 years. We stopped out the front and I got out of the car and I was about the close the door when I realised Happy didn't get out.

"I have to go visit Morgan and Pepper, go into Tony's lab, ask FRIDAY to play the message for you okay?" he instructed.

"What? No, no, no I can't go into there,"

"I'll see you at home kid!" he called before driving away.

I stood in the driveway and let out a sigh.

"Well that's great," I muttered.

I turned around and walked into the building muttering a string of curse words under my breath. The building was a lot warmer and my enhanced hearing allowed me to hear Sam and Rhodey screaming at each other while they played Mario kart. I got the elevator up and walked past the common area and slipped into the soundproof lab that I used to spend hours in. 

Everything was silent and it felt dull and empty, usually, the lab would be bustling with life as Tony tinkered with everything and made a mess on all the benches. ACDC was usually blasting through the speakers but everything was empty, nothing laid on the benches except for a thin coat of dust. The computers screens were black and the only light came from the windows, the room was grey and white but I never noticed before because the room was always crowded. I placed my backpack on the ground and sat down on a spinning stool while letting out another sigh.

"Hey FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"Happy said you had a message to play for me," 

"I do Peter, would you like to hear it?" the AI asked.

"Yeah,"

There was silence for a few seconds until a hologram was projected in front of me, Tony sat on a chair with a hand running across his face. I froze, why would Happy want to show me this? Tony sighed and looked straight at me.

"Hey Peter, if you're hearing this then there's good news and bad news. The good news is that you're back but the bad news is that I must be gone. I'm so glad you're back Peter, god I wish we at least met before I died. Someone must've told you that I have something for you and I do, so, if my lab is still the same way that I left it then open the drawer to your right and there should be a red and blue USB in there, plug it into your mask with your suit and download it into your suit. I promise it's not a virus or anything, it's something that will help you and me. I know you might not like the idea of it at first but please just give it a chance, it'll help me rest in peace. Also, I need to relax in heaven, I don't want to continuously send lightning bolts at you if you're being stupid," he chuckled.

I smiled and opened the drawer and pulled out the USB.

"I'm proud of you Pete, I really am. Everything that you've done is something I wish I could've been, you're only 16 years old? I don't really know, you'd be 21 if the snap didn't happen. I'm so proud of you Pete and I hope you can forgive me for leaving, I don't know how my death happened but I know you'll get through it eventually. I love you 3000 kid," he said.

The hologram disappeared leaving me feeling empty and alone, my heart sunk again and I looked down at the red and blue USB in my palm. I pulled out my Spider-Man suit from my bag and laid it on the bench, it was the black and red one that I made on the jet while I was in London trying to defeat Quinten Beck. I connected the USB into my mask and waited for a few minutes, the EDITH glasses laid at the bottom of my bag and I sighed. I didn't use them that much because they reminded me of Beck and how he betrayed me and how I stupidly gave them to him.

There was a buzzing sound from my mask and I took the USB out, I took a deep breath and slid my mask on. The normal stats and everything appeared in front of my eyes and I waited to see what the USB added and that's when I noticed that Karen didn't greet me like she normally did. A message flashed on the screen.

'Say Hello to activate'

"Uh hello?" I said.

Nothing happened for a few seconds until I heard the voice.

"Hey, Underoos,"