Winning her back

11. Back to reality

"I don't get it Lis, why didn't you change your surname on the hospital's system? Or at least remove him from your emergency contacts?", Lydia asked before taking another wrong turn.

We were currently en route to my apartment. Ben only got the necessities. Apparently Mr Fluffy wasn't a necessity.

"Well, I never thought this would happen", I sighed as Lydia tried to justify what happened over and over again.

"What now? Have you changed them?" She replied completely ignoring my request. "You should have changed them months ago, you've had almost a yea - "

"Lydia!", I scoffed, "You're not helping, maybe you should focus on the road". We were an hour away from what was supposed to be a thirty minute drive to my apartment. Lydia was obviously nervous, I'd only been out in the 'real' world with Ben, and that was only to Dr Rowland's clinic and back.

"I'm sorry", she began with a lengthy sigh. "It's just ... you've worked so hard to get out of ... that situation , and now you're back there ... with him".

"It's not the same".

"Isn't it? Don't tell me that you don't think that this is some kind of ploy to get you back. He took the opportunity and you fell right into the trap".

"What trap?!", I narrowed my eyes and turned by body towards her. "It's not like I had a choice on the matter? The choice was already made for me! You think I'm happy about this? You think this is what I wanted? I was raped Lydia".

Silence.

"I don't like playing house with him, obviously not."
I diverted my gaze back to the road. I could feel my eyes start to tear up. "I can't sleep at night. I have these .. dreams. Its like I have to relive it, every .. single .. night. I can't be alone, sometimes I sleep in bed and wake up somewhere else. I can't even look after my own stitches. Do you know how vulnerable that is? I'm a doctor for christ's sake".

I focused my eyes on the mirror right in front of me. I barely recognized myself. My hair was a mess, my eyes were puffy and my cheeck bones were protruding. "I don't have anybody else to depend on. I don't have my parents. I'm alone".

I suddenly felt Lydia's hand on mine. "That's not true", she began, "you'll always have me".

We sat in a comfortable silence for what seemed like ages before Lydia's phone rang. I recognized the caller ID as Tom, before Lydia declined the call and put her focus back on driving.

"Do you want to talk about it?", I asked with a concerned face.

"There's nothing to talk about", Lydia said, shutting me down.

Clearly, things between her and Tom were getting worse.

____________________________________

Soon enough, we were walking up the stairs to my apartment. It felt wierd being back, like returning home from college with a sense of relief to be back home, but with some hesitation on not knowing what to expect.

Mr Fluffy was standing behind the door, just as I had expected. Thankfully, Lydia had been passing by twice a day to feed him and take care of the house. It felt like I hadn't been here for years, when in reality it had only been a couple of weeks.

Everything looked the same, from my stained carpets, to my worn out leather sofa. The reality was that I had spent way too much time in this apartment, sobbing and wining, I was pathetic. There was so much more that I could have done, I could have watered my flowers, which were starting to dry out. Only I didn't own any flowers.

"Lyd, who are the flowers from?". They weren't my favourite but the gesture was sweet.

"Oh", she said with a cheeky smile. "They're from Clark".

"Clark .. as in my boss?"

"Yeah", she continued. "He left a really sweet note too, but I hid it just in case Ben saw it". Just then, Lydia pulled out a note from one of my kitchen cupboards, passing it to me.

Thinking of you always,
Clark xx

"You hid it?" I questioned narrowing my eyes.

"Look, if Ben would have read it, he would have probably thrown away the flowers." She paused. "He's still in love with you".

I pinched the bridge of my nose and diverted my gaze to the ceiling.

"There is nothing, and I really mean nothing that Ben can ever do or say to make me take him back. Not even luring me into a kiss".

"He kissed you", she said with wide eyes. "God Lisa-

"What! Its not like I kissed him back."

"Don't you get it, that's how it starts. Just like it started back then."

"It's different this time", I said.

We both knew that was a lie.