You safe me

Chapter 4 - Know me

Nat walks through the streets with some confidence Y/N can't understand. She walks a bit like she owns them. Not minding the others, not even glancing at them. She pushes past as if they aren't even there. Y/N on the other hand dodges every contact. She holds her head low, avoids eye contact or contact at all. She stays close behind Nat, clinging to her hand for support and afraid to lose her. She sees Nat turn briefly and she knows that the redhead sees her frightened expression, her dodging and avoiding the people or flinching every time someone gets too close to her. She feels Nat's eyes on her as the redhead slows down to walk beside her instead of in front of her. They walk in silence. Y/N hasn't spoken a single word in months, except of the few words she exchanged with Nat, so she feels comfortable to stay quiet. But she knows she has to talk sooner or later. Not only to Nat but to the others, too.

Someone walks past her and hits his shoulder against hers. She flinches and jumps into Nat. Her breathing gets quicker and she knows she's close to a panic attack. "Change. I need to change!" She looks around frightened, standing in the middle of the sidewalk. "Cat. Dog. Whatever!" She starts to shiver and to wheeze. Dizziness adds to it because of the lack of food and water for the last part of the week. Nat only takes one look before she grabs Y/N's arm and drags her to the nearest alley she can see, steadying her so she won't fall. She lets Y/N lean against the wall and takes a step back. Y/N slides down on it and curls into a small ball, rocking for and backwards while muttering inaudible things to herself. "Hey, Y/N? Breathe." Y/N closes her eyes and shakes her head. She knows what to do and she knows she will calm down in a few seconds. The little hairs on the back of her neck are still standing tall but she feels the tension leave her shoulders, now that she's in an alley with less people. "Y/N, what's wrong?" Nat crouches in front of her and looks a bit concerned. "I- don't like them. Don't like them." She rocks back and forth still hiding her face in her arms. "Who? The people?" Y/N only nods and rocks heavier. She stays with small sentences, feeling easier to not talk too much if she has to talk at all. "They hit me. Kick me. Punish me. Don't like them. Always nicer to animals. Still hurt me." She doesn't see Nat's shocked face but she feels her warm hand come back up to her shoulder. She twitches but doesn't shakes the hand away. She knows she tries to comfort. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I know it's probably not easy." Y/N nods frantically and rocks for a bit longer. "You promise to stay by my side when you drop?" Y/N nods again. "Okay. Can you do a dog? I only saw you as cat. But a dog won't look strange if he follows someone."

"I can." Y/N nods again and looks up at Nat. She smiles. Natasha is smiling at her. She's not hitting, shouting or punishing her. She's kind and concerned. No one was ever concerned about her. Y/N looks at her. "What dog?" She's curious what Nat likes. Is she a cat or a dog person? She already liked Y/N as cat but that was before they knew who she really is. And they still don't know who she is. "I don't know. Maybe a... a shepherd?" She looks at Y/N and Y/N sees a small glistening in her eyes. Nat smiles at her and Y/N feels herself relax a bit and smiles a tiny smile back. She concentrates and feels herself change. Just a few seconds later she stands next to Nat as a beautiful Australian shepherd. Nat smiles at her and Y/N lets her tail waggle. She feels better already. Except that she doesn't. She's tired. Really tired.

"Can I?" Nat reaches her hand out and looks at Y/N with almost pleading looking eyes. Y/N lets out a whine and lies down, her tongue lolling out. Nat smiles again and starts patting her head. "So soft. How do you do that?" Y/N nuzzles shortly into Nat's hand and whines again. Her fear doesn't creep up from behind anymore and her breathing is steady again. But the thought of going to the tower holds her nerves on edge which parts with her tiredness. Her muscles ache and she feels exhausted. She could sleep right here. Nat stands back up and claps in her hand. "So, enough playing. Let's go." Y/N tries to stand back up but collapses again. She whines softly and huffs a tired breath. "What's wrong?" Natasha turns around and looks at her. Y/n whines again and tries to get on her paws for a second time but the result is the same. Her stomach grumbles loudly and she closes her eyes for a moment. "Y/N?" It takes a lot out of her to open her eyes but when she does Nat crouches in front of her. "Can you stand for second?" Y/n only whines. She knows she can't. her muscles ache her legs feel like jelly and she knows it's because she hasn't eaten anything these past few days. "Nat frowns for a second but she sits down beside her and pulls a phone out from somewhere. Y/N rests her head on Natasha's leg without thinking twice and closes her eyes. The noises around her fade to a pleasant drum in her ears. She feels Nat's hand on her head and gives in into the warm touch. She loses a bit of her feeling for time and when Natasha gently lifts her head from her lap, she doesn't know how long she had been lying there. "Y/N? You're awake?" Y/N opens her eyes lazily and glances up at Nat. She's surprised to find a man next to her. He's tall but chubby with curly hair. He wears a suit and looks down at her in confusion. "What?" His voice has a soft drum in it and Y/N likes it. He sounds appealing. "We get her to the tower."