You safe me

Chapter 7 - Shock

Y/N feels warm and content. There is no other description for it. She hums sleepily and cuddles closer to the warmth that surrounds her. It the best she felt in years, and she's determined to enjoy it. A puff of warm air flows over her cheek and suddenly Y/N is very aware of the arm that's slung loosely around her waist. She opens her eyes carefully, intending to close them if she sees that person attached to the arm is awake, and blinks against the light. She's instantly met with a beautiful sight. Bucky's face is mere inches away from hers. His eyes are closed, and he's still deeply asleep. His mouth is opened slightly and each time he breathes out, warm air hits her face. His features are gentle, comfortable. He seems to be really calm. Warmth floods Y/N's chest at the sight, and she can't other. She carefully extracts her hand from under the blanket and runs the fingers through Bucky's hair, own to his cheek and through the beard. The man sighs in his sleep and nuzzles into the hand unconsciously. Y/N smiles and watches him sleep in silence. Her fingers continue to lazily run over his cheek. Bucky makes small noises of content.

The silence is rudely interrupted by a loud alarm. Y/N flinches and nearly changes in shock. She stiffens as Bucky stirs next to her. She feels her heart hammer in her chest and the panic rising. Bucky blinks his eyes open, seemingly not affected by the noise and looks at her. He seems to catch on, on what's going on with Y/N, because he draws her instantly closer to her, tightens his arm around her waist and frees his other hand to rub soothingly over her back. "It's okay, Y/N. Just the avengers alarm. It's okay. It will be over in a minute." Bucky's hands come up and cover her ears. He leans closer, his lips touching her skin as he whispers directly into her ear. Reassuring words fly over her. The panic is almost blinding and it's hard for her to concentrate on Bucky's words. Her instinct and the itch to change grow bigger and bigger and its almost not bearable. She feels herself shivering. Bucky drags her closer which seems almost impossible now. "Y/N. It's okay. You're safe. Everything is okay. I know it's scary at first." Y/N knows he really tries but his words do nothing for the fog in her mind. It feels like the alarm blares hours but in reality, it can't be longer than a few minutes. As soon as its stops Y/N is on her feet. She ignores Bucky's shout and darts out of the room. Her breath is quick, and she feels as if the air in the tower is stale, thick, used. She needs to get out.

Bucky's naked feet thumb behind her on the floor, but she ignores it. Soon she's in the common room without any memory to even got there. She quickly opens the window and just as she changes, she hears Bucky behind her. "Y/N!" His voice sounds panicked and sad. But Y/N has her priorities right now. She changes quickly into an eagle and flies out of the window. Only the cry of her name reaches her ears before she's far away from the tower. She dents look back, afraid to see Bucky's sad face, afraid to see something that increases her panic. She just flies. Cool wind ruffles through her feathers, her sins are sharp. She can see people down on the streets, tiny as if they were ants. But she ignores them. She flies further until she has most of New York behind her and reaches the forest. She lets herself descend and lands on a tree. Other birds ruffle their feathers in agitation and fly away. Small animals on the ground look up curiously but continue on their path without taking further notice of her.

Y/N feels calmer now. She doesn't often change into an eagle. Her muscles ache while changing, and she feels stiff after she changes back to human dorm. Sometimes, though, it's not avoidable. When the anxiety is too big or when she feels trapped and her cat or dog form can't free her. She thinks for a moment if she should change but decides against it, so she just sits there and listens to the sound around her. The birds, bug and animals. The wind in the trees and bushes. The knack of wood when a deer steps on it. All those little sounds that you ignore or not even hear in the city. The sounds that calm you down even when your eyes are closed. The only things that still floats through her thoughts is the hope, that the noise won't start again as soon as she lands back on the tower. She really doesn't like it.