You safe me

Chapter 12 - Learn about me

They are still on the couch. Y/N lost a lot of time and it's difficult to tell how late, or early, it is right now. She's still cuddled against Bucky's chest, dosing off a little while he breathes against the skin of her neck. Y/N figures he's just as sleepy as she is. He hasn't moved an inch the whole time they are on the couch now. Instead, he holds her tightly to his chest refusing to budge a little if she moves. She doesn't really mind. Her side feels fine so far, the painkillers are still working, and she feels warm and wanted. But she knows that the questions hang in the air. No one wants to ask, probably because they want to give her time to recover, but they all are curious. She can't really blame them, and she's glad that they waited this long now. However, she starts to feel restless, like she's waiting for the first bomb. She opens her eyes lazily and looks at Tony. He tips on his tablet, seemingly high concentrated. Y/N studies his face and posture. She tries to find out if he's bugged by questions and only hides it well. After a few seconds it seems like he feels her eyes on him. He lifts his head and looks around until he actually meets her eyes. He looks surprised to see her awake, but he flashes her a smile before he goes back to his tablet. Y/N's eyes wander further to Natasha. The red-head is already looking at her. They smile at each other and her eyes wander again. Bruce is absorbed in his book and Clint in his mobile. Sam is watching TV and whispering with Wanda about the characters. Peter and Pepper are looking through some photos. When her eyes get to Steve, she finds him looking at her like Natasha did. "Hi." He mouths and Y/N smiles lightly at him. Steve smiles back and nods before he focuses on the TV. Y/N frowns for a moment, trying to decide if she should bring the topic up herself or not, but then she cuddles back into Bucky's chest, letting him tighten his arms around her. "You okay?" His voice is slightly raspy from sleep, but he speaks silently so that only she can hear him. "Hm." She hums and closes her eyes. "Tired. And warm."

"Hm. You still have a fever. Go back to sleep." She feels him smile against her hair and his lips as he kisses her. She sighs and closes her eyes. Sleep doesn't come though. Continuously she feels eyes on her. Staring, trying to figure her out. It makes her twitchy and wishing she could change and run off. "Y/N..." She opens her eyes again and looks up into Bucky's. He frowns at her and runs his hand through her hair. She looks through the room and finds more eye pairs on her than she likes. She inhales deeply and lets it out again. Slowly, very slowly, she sits up and waits for Bucky to sit next to her, then she takes his hand in hers and squeezes it tightly. "Hey..." Bucky lifts her head with his other hand and looks at her. "What's wrong, doll? Are you in pain? Feeling sick?"

"N-no. I'm good."

"You're not." Bucky frowns at her. Y/N meets his eyes briefly before she lets her gaze wander through the room, over the faces of the others. She sighs and looks down at her hands, one still intervened with Bucky's. She knows it's inevitable, anyway. "What do you want to know?" They all look a bit startled, unsure of what she means, so she directs her gaze to Tony. He's always the one to asks questions first, and he surly is the one who wants to know what happened back in the forest. "What do you want to know?" She repeats herself and watches as Tony's eyes grow wide as he realizes what she means. His eyes dart to Bucky, then to Steve and back to her before he clears his throat. "What, eh..." he stops and looks back at Steve. Y/N follows his gaze. She really thought he would be the one to throw the questions out like he did when they found out that she's actually human. But apparently not. Steve rubs his neck, awkwardly avoiding her gaze. "What happened to you? Why did you suddenly change? Why did you walk to him in the first place? Who was he?" Y/N frowns at his questions and hums. She's not sure that she can answer his questions, she misses many pieces herself and has almost the same questions herself. Bucky squeezes her hand and places his other on top of them. "You don't need to answer, you know?" He whispers into her ear and she nods. She knows. But they will always be wary of her if she doesn't, and she really wants this, the tower, the Avengers, Bucky, to be her home. "I..." she begins reluctant and swallows past the lump in her throat, trying to ignore the attentions she gets right now. "I probably can't answer everything. I-I... I don't know who he was. He seemed familiar but I can't remember him. I'm missing a big piece of my past. I know I was with my parents and that my father brought me to a man. The next thing I know is pain, the taste of blood and... and an odd feeling of freedom. After that I was in the streets of New York." They all listen to her and no one interrupts the silence as she thinks for a moment. "I know he's one guy from Hydra and I know that he... That he did something to me, but I can't remember. I really try but I can't."