flower crowns | drarry

one

one
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tonight had been one of the few nights harry had been able to sleep, but he was plagued by terrifying nightmares, jarring flashes of past events that still haunted him.

he woke up, like he often did, screaming and covered in a cold sweat, heart beating fast. he jolted up and rushed to the bathroom as a sudden bout of nausea overtook him.

his stomach clenched violently as he dry heaved into the toilet, dark hair matted to his forehead. he regretted not eating anything for dinner the night before. it felt like his organs were going to spill out of his mouth and plop into the clear water below him. he had forgotten to grab his glasses on his rush to the bathroom, so everything around him was blurry and distorted, adding to his feelings of anguish.

he wanted to sob.

he wanted to scream.

well, that is, before he remembered the four other boys sleeping soundly in the dorm.

he fumbled around in the pocket of his sweatpants, fingers searching for his wand. when they closed around the light wood, he pointed it at the bathroom door, whispering a shaky, "silencio", the same charm he placed around his bed every night.

harry's shoulders sagged with exhaustion when nothing changed. "a-accio glasses," his wand slipped from his weak grip, clattering to the tile floor.

a desperate whimper fell from his cracked lips, tears slipping down his ashen cheeks.
he pressed his hands to his mouth right as the dam broke and he burst into sobs.

memories flashed through his mind. his cries came out choked and warbled, an ache building up in his chest.

he only removed his hands from his face when he could breathe again, and slowly stood up in front of the sink. he turned on the cold water with shaky hands, splashing a handful into his messy face. he rubbed his eyes, stopping to pluck loose eyelashes from his cheeks.

blowing his nose, harry composed himself before picking up his wand and stepping back into the bedroom.

he glanced at his bed before quickly deciding that going back to sleep was not an option. he retrieved his glasses, and threw on an oversized yellow sweater with a white h on the front.

after pulling on his shoes, he quietly opened the door and tiptoed down the steps into the dark common room. the warm fire from earlier had burned down to a small ember of warmth, a soft glow in the darkness, sent to remind harry that all was not lost, that there was happiness waiting for him somewhere in the distance, beyond his sight, and no matter how bad he felt now, he would feel okay again someday.

pausing briefly, he remembered that hermione and ron had made him promise to see headmaster mcgonagall if he had another nightmare, but she had done so much for him and waking her in the middle of the night was no way to repay her, so he disregarded the idea.

glancing at the clock on the wall, harry concluded that no one, not even filch, would be awake at this hour. he gently pushed the portrait hole open, hoping not to wake the fat lady, and when he emerged into the dark hall, the short woman was snoring softly.

he sighed softly, shoving his hands into his pockets and beginning another nighttime (or morning) walk.

he let his mind wander, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of the back doors.

he knew it led to nothing more than the greenhouses and hagrid's hut, but he still pushed through the dark wood and stepped outside.

it wasn't too cold out, but a cool breeze made harry shiver lightly. he ruffled his dark curls and listened to the soft crunch of leaves under his feet. mcgonnagoll had enchanted the school grounds to smell like cinnamon and pumpkin spice during autumn months, and it filled his chest with soft caramel warmth.

the sounds, smells, and sights of his favorite season brought a smile to his face, despite the terrifying events that occurred earlier.

for all the ugliness the world held, it could be so beautiful at moments like these.

a/n: how did you like the first chapter? this is one of my first fanfictions but i'm working hard and i am quite confident in this one!
if you guys have any requests of things you want to happen, i'd love to include them somewhere, so you can comment your ideas! (｀・ω・')"
also if you have any writing tips for me i love constructive criticism and feedback.
bye bye! ( ' ▽ ' )ﾉ