a/n another chapter yay
I fiddle with my bracelet as I'm sitting in my plane seat, for some reason I'm always scared of taking off and landing. That's stupid I think to myself, I shouldn't be scared of anything. I have no one to comfort me anyway that's the way it was when my family died, I managed that on my own.
This bracelet, the purple,named, friendship bracelet my little sister made for me that reads 'Jen' helps me. It calms my nerves and I drift of into a rare peaceful slumber thinking about Sam (my little sis), but like all my dream they soon turn into nightmares and I wake up a couple hours later in a completely quiet airplane everyone is asleep. I ponder to myself the same thing I always do and that is that : I should have been in that car accident not Sam. She was too young, too innocent, too beautiful and I couldn't save her. She deserved more years than she got and certainly more than I'm getting.
When we finally land my social worker Deborah decides to fill me in on my new foster mother, the world 'mother' makes my skin crawl no one can ever replace my mother. I find out she's called Maggie Simons and I'm her fourth adoption but I'm her first teenager as she specializes in babies and toddlers, great I think I'll be getting lots of sleep with babies crying all night, all in all she doesn't sound too bad but I'll have to wait and see. I refuse to pass judgement before I meet her, its what my mum would want me to do! My mother would probably also tell me to try and make friends but since she's died I've never felt anything but coldness in my heart towards people. Its broken! Someone pretty strong willed will have to be able to break my barrier, good luck to them. If I never have to feel the pain of lossing the most important think to me in the world (loved ones) again I'll die happy!
I seek refuge in books and music so as I sit in the taxi, driving to my new home I start to read and fend off any attempt of a conversation with the taxi driver. I read Carrie , a horror book written by Stephen king, I enjoy dark stuff these days.
