Me and my parents are fighting about me going off to high school I'm going into art but I want do do it on my own terms no degree I've always been good at art. my dad starts yelling at me. why are you such a disappointment as my mother called me a cosmic mistake I yell from the top of the stairs I'm sorry that I'm trying my hardest to not fall apart sometime it all just keep going down hill I'm trying so hard to stay afloat but it starting to drown me under it all I stand there waiting for someone to save me but no one comes it hurts just to think about so I'll keep pushing it away I'm sorry I'm not good enough to keep us all together but sometimes I fall apart too. I know I'm the strong one but right now I feel so weak and it scares me I do not like being vulnerable I'm safe if im in my shell no one can hurt me the world is scary but I still try everyday ill make it ok if I can do my work fix it all. ill do better i know I can it's just a matter of when. They say try harder but I'm trying I've been trying I'm terrified to think of the possibility that may happen in the future life is not something you can put deadlines on they all ways say your time is up but you have all your life it still scares me to think of it all going wrong even though I did my best I'm trying my hardest but I'm still broken I'm only human or so they think but even a monster falls apart to so I'm sorry I'm not perfect stop comparing me to others there them I'm me we are not the same. I'm sorry for my mistakes I just want to be me but be accepted I want them to know I'm worth the time I'm worth the effort I'm trying so hard but none of it seems to matter my grades crash my life's a mess it only gets worse before it gets better they say but it only gets worse and i feel like expressing how it feels it 10 times worse all I can hope is that it gets better before it hurts anymore keep in mind I've never had the best of grades but I try my best anyway my parents are still fighting as I shut my bedroom door and lock it.
(That's all for this chapter my little killer's Byeeee 🖤🖤🖤 P.S the rant was all happing to me so if it seems personal you know why.)
