This is something I thought I should really share. It's about an event that happened with me many weeks ago.
As usual, when it's like 12 PM or 1 PM, I went to shower. The shower I take is in a kind of small bathroom. The structure is like, when you enter through the door, on the right side after going forward a little, there's a shower up on the wall. And the water of that shower reaches the wall on it's opposite side too because of the small size of the bathroom.
So that day, when I was taking a shower, I noticed a spider on a side. It seemed like it wanted to go to the other side, but couldn't due to the water hitting the wall. So I ignored it and was taking the shower. At one point, I saw that it came closer. As always, I was scared of spiders. I didn't want it to come close, but it had to come close if it wanted to reach the other side.
The spider wasn't big. It was a normal common type of spider whose hands and legs looked thinner than my hair, and body looked small as the pin of a pen. Let's say, it's lenth was approximately 2-3 centimeters. And it's weight looked lesser than one gram. Yes, I was still scared of it.
Many things scared me, whether it's a big cockroach or a little spider. I used to think of them as monsters. I used to think that they tried to scare me. But all of those beliefs of mine changed that day...
When I used water or a mug to hit the little spider. It's because I was scared of letting it get too close. That moment, the spider fell down on the floor, right where the water if the shower was falling. I knew how strong the force of the water was, at least, how strong it is to a little animal like that spider. I tried to look at where it fell. I found it floating in the water after a while. It had covered its body using its legs. But they were too thin, so they weren't able to protect it from the great pressure of the water. I tried to save it, but it didn't move again. It floated away. In other words, it died.
That was the day I learned, that animals aren't monsters. It's what we think of them, that makes us the monsters and the scary ones.
That spider hadn't done anything wrong to me. It only seemed to have wanted to move and pass. I thought that it was there to scare me. That's what made ME scary, as my actions drowned it and caused it die.
After that day, I regret doing that. Even when it's a cockroach or a spider, I try to just avoid hurting them. I've hurted them enough for this life.
Whenever I get scared of and insect and animal, I try to remember the incident of that spider. That's what sometimes gives me the courage to try to help them, even if they look scary. I try to make sure that cockroaches or spiders reach a safe and dry place before I start showering. But of course, mosquitoes are exceptional since they harm people!
Sometimes that memory haunts me. It creates regrets inside me from that day. I wish I could return back to then, and just hug that spider and carry him to the other side with my own hands with a smile.
Looks don't make who you are. We humans have been saying that some animals are ugly and scary, and we act in a way that makes us scary and ugly instead. Thinking of innocent animals as monsters, we've become monsters ourselves...
Well, that doesn't apply to everyone. It applies mostly to me, I guess. Spiders can't talk with humans, but my overactive imagination always creates stuffs. It also created something I think the spider was saying to me when it was drowning and dying due to the pressures of the water-
"Brother, I just wanted... to pass."
