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My mom is an alcoholic. my dad ran away when I was only 1.5678 years old. yes, I remember the exact number because I was so traumatized - man couldn't run for shit he tripped like 6 times. yeah, I'm a nerd, I read all the Harry Potter books at age 6.7970.
I get out of my bed and walk over to my vanity. my bright violet orbs stare back at me. they look like my mom's before she started drinking - I haven't seen her eyes since last year. my hair is so tangled and I can't brush it *sigh* I guess a messy bun will be enough. I look at my outfit. Green sweatpants I have since grade 4. I guess they will work - I've only really worn them 4 times this week?
It's not like anyone will notice me anyway :( you see, I'm different from other girls. I don't wear a pound of makeup to school everyday, in fact, I don't even know what a mascora is????? I just save the turtles and rip my eyelashes off to be more Economic friendly sksksks. before I step out the door, I slip into my converse high tops and put on my thicc glasses, because im a nerd and I can't read.
I walk over 4 hours to school, because we can't afford a scooter. the second I walk into school someone throws and encyclopaedia at me and its a fat one too.
"read that for me, NERD!" my bully who is also my crush screams.
Xavier, king of breaking hearts. every girl wants him and every guy wants to be like him. what a bad boy.
This is perfect moment for me to flirt, I've already read it ;)
"xavier, this book is talking about how the science of scrunchies explain why regular ponytails are going extinct-" he cuts me off before I can get into the interesting part.
"ew you NERD get your stinky musty self away from me! you have to be at least 5038 meters away from me!!!!" he shrieks
oh yikes I forgot about the restraining order.
"and I oop- sksksks sorry xavy baby ;)" I flirtasouly whisper. I know he wants me.
next thing I. know, someone has grabbed me by the neck and swung me across the room! I hiss at the intruder. turns out its xavy baby's girlfriend BRITTNEY!! ugh I hate that bitch. I claw her across the face with my claws (I superglue them on every morning).
I clawed that hoe so bad her cheek fillers popped.
"that's right Brittney! you plastic turtle killer!!!!"
I get slapped across the face, by XAVIER
"XAVY BABY! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!" I sob so hard I vomit.
Xavier grabs the superglue from my back pocket and glues Brittney's cheek fillers back on! what a cheap hoe. I run away home.
I go into my room and throw myself onto the couch, but when I land on it, it breaks! I HATE BEING POOR!!!!
"ASHLEY! COME BRING YOUR ASS DOWNSTAIRS!" I think that was my mom. I ignore her, maybe she will continue to forget about me.
"ASHELY YOU STIINKY BITCH I CAN SMELL YOUR MUSTY ASS YOU DIRTY HOE TAKE A SHOWER AND COME DOWNSTAIRS!!!!" damn son guess she was serious.
I wipe my tears and grab my water bottle. I pour it all over myself. wow what a nice refreshing shower.
I head on downstairs and my mom is standing next to five insanely hot boys, or should I say....men? The one with the next curly locks looks shocked to see me, starstruck. I blush and saunter over to them.
"Ashley, I want to buy more vodka but I can't afford it. One Direction bought you for $456 which is a lot." I dint register what she is saying, nor do I care. "ASHLEY POOPYPANTS LOUISE! LISTEN TO ME! YOU ARE SOLD!"
I am embarrassed why did she say my middle name? but I have no reason to be embarrassed because my man speaks.
"dear darling Ashley! you are the most different thing I have ever seen! poopypants? I LOVE IT! I LOVE YOU POOPYPANTS! YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE OTHER GIRLS!"
"who are you, beautiful man?"
"why darling, I am harry stylus! and I just bought you!"
