JUST ACCEPT IT ALL
YOUR POV
The voice in my head whispered the unspeakable. Just accept it all....accept the pain,accept therejection, accept the depression, accept the hatred....I'm the only one who needs to get hurt....I need to protect them....my family...I can't repeat my mistakes....JUST ACCEPT IT ALL I said to myself. Darkness was still cloaked around me...I'm alone...nothing unusual there...My eyes fluttered open as I woke up to warmness wrapping my hand. Toby's. He was sleeping. The tear marks were visible. "no...(l/n)...don't leave me.....please...please stay by my side...please take better care of your self..." Salty pearls slid down his pale cheeks. I smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. I coughed and caused Toby to wake up. My coughs began to sound more violently as I felt warm liquid discard from my throat. I looked at the palm of my hand and saw red. I wish someone would take me away from my misery. I tried to deceive myself and succeeded. Toby, however did not believe it." Please don't deceive me....please don't hide the pain...." he said almost in a whisper. "I'm not deceiving you...Don't worry..." I felt guilt rush through me as the words slipped through my lips. " No...(l/n) don't lie to me...lieing only leads to trouble....I understand how you feel....lieing wont..." He stopped as he took another glance at my scars decorating my wrist. no...no...not now.."(l/n)...why?! WHY?! DO YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO SOLVE ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS??!!" Rage shot through me as I slapped his hand away from my wrist. " DO YOU THINK ANYONE WOULD CARE?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FEEL REJECTED! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FEEL LIKE YOUR NOT THERE! YOU...you know nothing...nothing about feeling like a monster...." I said as tears streamed down my pale skin. He grabbed a hold of my hand and squeezed it hard. I couldn't feel it...I...I...feel so empty....I could just fill this emptiness, accepting everything. I glared at him with my blood red orbs. He shook in fear as I pressed a pressure point on his wrist. It made his knees give out and collapsed onto the marble floor. He sat there with an blank expression as I ran to my room, passing by the pastas. " Hey, (l/n), you okay?" E.J said. Before I could answer, my body betrayed me and pushed him forcefully down. He hit the floor hard as he groaned in pain. I stared in horror. What am I doing? I thought to myself. This is who you are, a monster...(F/n)....that voice....that voice is the one from the dream I had when I first came here....my father...Zalgo....So slender HAS told you about my abandon for you...your just like your mother...selfish...accepting everything...BUT YOUR EXISTENCE WILL NEVER BE EXCEPTIONAL..no..I exist...father, sister, brother....they all acknowledged me...they are not your real family...YOU are my property..YOU belong to me,(F/N) hehe...I have business to take care of dear..see you soon...no...he's lieing. Fathers care. Fathers are gentle. Fathers are kind...How in the world would he be my father? And how dare he call me by my first name?! Only my siblings and father have the right to call me that name. "(l/n), (l/n), (L/N) !!!!!" BEN was shaking me. I can't take it anymore....no more pain...I slapped his hand away and wobbled towards my room. "Hi (l/n)! Do you want to play with Lazari and me?" Sally stopped me with a cheerful atmosphere. "M-maybe l-later..." I stuttered as I dashed to my room. Hoodie took a quick glance at me as I slammed my door and locked it. "(l-l/n)? Are you okay?" Hoodie spluttered at the other side of the door. I once again took my hatchets and glabbed my tool belt. I coughed a hell amount of blood. "He he....I didn't even get a chance to see my real mother...oh well, she wont acknowledge my existence anyways."
One one one for all of the bullies
Two two two for all of the pills
Three three three for all of the experiments
Four four four for all of the pain
Five five five for the slits on my wrists
Six six six for all of the heart breaks
Seven seven seven for all of the blood
Eight eight eight for the abandons
Nine nine nine for the times of suicide
Ten ten ten for everything
Everything
EVERYTHING
